LOL - I'm not sure I actually want to reflect.
But after a lazy blogging year, I felt the need to write one final post on the last day of 2014.
What a year.
What a very difficult, emotionally challenging year. Here are just a few random thoughts I've been having today.
Things that I have learnt this year.
1. I'm not as strong as I thought I was.
This year I have done things that even just a year ago, I never would have done. I have endured things that I would normally have walked away from. I have forgiven things that I never would have even thought about forgiving just a year ago. I have let people treat me in ways that I never thought I would have stood for. And all of this has turned me into someone that I am not happy with, that I do not like, and that I will bury next year. Not having it.
2. I spent more time trying to do what I thought I should be doing instead of what I wanted to do.
Not even so much what I thought I should be doing, but more like what I thought was expected of me at this particular stage. Everyone knows I love travel. And not having had the opportunity to go anywhere this year has affected my overall happiness. I'm already thinking about travel plans next year, and they have already put a smile on my face, even though nothing has been set in stone. The thought ALONE makes me feel happy.
3. My gut instinct is ALWAYS right. I wish I had trusted it - I truly believe I would be much happier now.
This has been a very tough lesson this year. I chose to ignore a gut instinct, I turned out to be right...and all that lead to was a whole load of heartache. If I had trusted it...well, I can't even tell you where I would be right now.
4. No matter what your mind tells you to do, whatever you KNOW is the right thing to do, your heart has the power to make you do the opposite.
Highly annoying.
5. Feelings are a bitch.
If we could just cut off our emotions and detach ourselves from a situation, how easy would it be to just walk away?! Connected to #4, the heart wants what it wants. Those who are strong enough to go with their head? Good for you!
6. Don't give others priority if they're not willing to do the same. I'm way too generous and I know I give too much to people who don't deserve it.
I don't even want to get into this one. It's self explanatory.
7. You can't be the only one fighting to save something. It has to be a combined effort.
If you don't want to save it, then walk away. Don't leave someone fighting for something you don't even want yourself. It's not fair.
8. I'm not happy.
How the hell I didn't really notice this until a couple of months ago is beyond me. All it takes it for someone to lay everything out....or to actually see and spend time with someone who is happy to realise that changes need to be made. And I am grateful (if not somewhat envious!!!) of having those people around me.
9. I am surrounded by AMAZING people.
THANK YOU for listening. THANK YOU for your hugs. THANK YOU for your brutal honesty. THANK YOU for your advice. THANK YOU for not judging me. THANK YOU for your patience. THANK YOU for your love and THANK YOU for your support. You KNOW who you are and please know that I love you all.
Things that I miss about London:
1. Tesco - and all the food in it!
Fruit and veg at proper prices, amazing baking goods, fishmongers and delis, BREAD....
2. Sales shopping
Completely cleaned up this year! Although I shan't tell you what I spent! The only consolation is that I'm able to claim tax back - something I only found out last week!
3. Selfridges
My fave store in the whole world. It has everything and is just a fabulous shopping experience if you can keep calm and endure the crowds.
4. My friends
I never realise how much I miss everyone until I come back and see them again. I've laughed so hard over the last couple of weeks and just loved catching up.
5. Amazing Indian food
God, the UK does it sooooo right.
6. The architecture
London is stunning. Truly stunning. I love walking around and just staring at the traditional buildings.
7. The international vibe - a whole melting pot of people from all over the world
The complete opposite to Tokyo - I love walking down the street and just having a load of multi-coloured faces pass me by.
8. My family
No explanation needed.
9. Central heating
Radiators in the bathroom? YESSSSSS!!!! Dreading going back to Tokyo!
10. Being hit on!
It's always a shock (and an ego boost I guess!) coming back to the UK. People are so FORWARD and don't hesitate to compliment you. I was walking down Bond Street and a guy said something to me...and I actually turned around because I thought he was talking to someone else! At times like that, I realise how long I've been away.
And no, those are not in any particular order!
Things that I miss about Tokyo:
1. Not having to cling onto my bag for dear life on the tube for fear of it being snatched.
Tokyo is crazy safe. People walk about with their wallets hanging out of their pockets. More often than not, if you lose anything, it will get handed in. Amazing.
2. Good sushi.
Why my friends here insist on taking me to Japanese or sushi restaurants here in London is beyond me. Yeh, they are good....but remember where I live my lovelies!
3. My house
I miss being surrounded by my stuff in the places where I put it.
4. The city at night
Tokyo is gorgeous at night. London is gorgeous all day...but Tokyo at night is just breathtaking.
5. Heated toilet seats
You'll never realise how much you need them until you don't have access to them anymore! HAHAHA!
Of course I miss people there. Of course I do. But after 7.5 years, I'm really wondering if it's time to move on. You don't think about it when you're there, but when I come back to the UK and tell people how long I've been living in Japan, their reaction always makes everything seem so real. It is a really long time.
New Year's Resolutions for 2015:
1. BE HAPPY.
There is a world of stuff included in that. But ultimately, that is my goal for next year. Since I realised the extent of my unhappiness, one thing has become apparent - I do have the power to change it. I've given myself a couple of cut off points to make some very big decisions that will be detrimental to how the rest of the year pans out.
The small things make all the difference. They do.
No more settling.
Have a wonderful NYE however you may be celebrating!
xoxo
Wednesday 31 December 2014
Tuesday 16 December 2014
もういいよ！
Seriously, enough.
本当に。
Typical that the last week before I'm supposed to check out for the year should be this ghastly.
I am so emotionally drained and my mind is in desperate need of some serious R&R.
How do I know this?
I'm starting to lose my temper. Not to its fullest extent, but I ended up in a screaming/shouting match 4 times yesterday. I literally felt like I'd spent the whole day arguing. And then to go home and for that to continue? That pushed me over the edge. I can't even put into words the sheer frustration I'm feeling right now. And I also feel disappointed that this is how the year here is going to end. I was so hoping for that whole ending on a positive note thing, and that would be indicative of how the new year would start.
Pah, no such luck. I'm just going to have to make sure I can leave all this shit here and take it upon myself to start 2015 the right way.
So done with all this b*******.
So done.
So not doing it anymore.
xoxo
本当に。
Typical that the last week before I'm supposed to check out for the year should be this ghastly.
I am so emotionally drained and my mind is in desperate need of some serious R&R.
How do I know this?
I'm starting to lose my temper. Not to its fullest extent, but I ended up in a screaming/shouting match 4 times yesterday. I literally felt like I'd spent the whole day arguing. And then to go home and for that to continue? That pushed me over the edge. I can't even put into words the sheer frustration I'm feeling right now. And I also feel disappointed that this is how the year here is going to end. I was so hoping for that whole ending on a positive note thing, and that would be indicative of how the new year would start.
Pah, no such luck. I'm just going to have to make sure I can leave all this shit here and take it upon myself to start 2015 the right way.
So done with all this b*******.
So done.
So not doing it anymore.
xoxo
Thursday 11 December 2014
Great Expectations
This time in a week, I'll be packing to go home.
And then it will be goodbye to 2014. And to be honest? Good riddance.
The first 6 months of the year saw me complete a DELTA course and I should have been celebrating that all year. It's a massive achievement for me and I was excited to see what new opportunities having it would take me.
But the latter half of this year? The last 6 months have just been....I don't even know how to describe them...
...HARD.
An emotional rollercoaster.
A realisation of the massive changes I need to make next year.
It's only been over the last couple of months that I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just not as happy as I could be. And it's only since events over the last 3 weeks have unfolded and since talking to close friends, that I've come to the realisation of just how deep that unhappiness runs.
It was a shock to be honest. I'm not talking about any one particular thing - I'm talking generally. Until I was talking to friends about life, love, health, careers, travel, EVERYTHING, I didn't realise how much dissatisfaction had built up inside me. I will not ever have another year without travelling - imagine someone told you you couldn't do the one thing you love the most. Imagine how you would feel. I see other people's holiday pictures on FB and I find myself green with envy! Ridiculous. I didn't realise how much I was YEARNING for big belly laughs, smiles, travel, excitement and general HAPPINESS.
This concept...this realisation...has actually been really difficult for me to deal with and understand. I was forced to step back and recognise the causes...and as things started to get clearer, I've made the decision to start making changes. Why bother to wait until the new year? I'm starting my new year's resolutions. Today.
It's a simple resolution, under which is a whole load of sub-resolutions. What do I want for 2015? One word.
HAPPINESS.
I'm choosing happiness over money. I'm choosing happiness over fear. I want to be happy. I want to do the things that make me happy instead of doing what people or society expect me to. I want to share the things that make me happy with people who are important to me.
I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what is staring back at me. I want my confidence back and I want to take back the power of how I view myself, instead of how others view me.
I want to stop expecting so much of other people - to try accepting more. I don't even just want this - I need this. That way, I don't have to deal with this constant feeling of disappointment. At the same time, I want to be accepted as I am; to bring out the best in other people so that they want to better themselves in order to exceed my expectations. Not because I want them to, but because they WANT to do that for me.
I want to surround myself with positive and inspiring people. We are all fighting some kind of battle. I know that I could learn from others' positivity, even in dark times, in order to help me get through my own.
I used to be a super positive person. I want that back. I want to stop focussing so hard on the negative and channel that energy into trying to find the positive - even in shitty situations.
I saw this on the internet yesterday:
"Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it".
Youch - how true does that ring?? It's hard because that place you lost your happiness can also be the place that you want it most. Can be anything - family, work, relationships, habits, health. Anything.
Something I'll still be taking into the new year is to not give up on something until I've done everything I possibly can to make it work. That applies to everything. And whilst it may cause me a lot of ballache (LOL - if i had any!), at least I won't regret anything in the same way I would if I was one of those people who just thought f*** it and walked away from a situation the second it gets tough. I'll get to walk away knowing there's nothing else I could've done. Even if it turns out that it wasn't worth the effort, that's just the type of person I am.
Time to get some of my old sparkle back. I didn't realise how much I've changed until close friends pointed it out.
One of the most important things I'm taking with me into next year is something one of my close girlfriends said. Not her exact words, but the message was basically along the lines of the fact that just because things in my life aren't going well, and just because I might be feeling like complete and utter shit, it doesn't mean that I have to be mean to other people. And it certainly doesn't give me the right to be a bitch to other people. She told me that even when her world came crashing down, she made an effort to be nice to the people around her.
She's completely right. It's not other people's fault events are unfolding as they are in my life. Commence the feelings of guilt.
Off the bat, I can already think of several instances where I've taken this out on other people. How unfair and selfish of me.
I'm sorry.
I'm taking back control.
My happiness is no one else's responsibility except my own.
Here's to a much happier 2015!
xoxo
And then it will be goodbye to 2014. And to be honest? Good riddance.
The first 6 months of the year saw me complete a DELTA course and I should have been celebrating that all year. It's a massive achievement for me and I was excited to see what new opportunities having it would take me.
But the latter half of this year? The last 6 months have just been....I don't even know how to describe them...
...HARD.
An emotional rollercoaster.
A realisation of the massive changes I need to make next year.
It's only been over the last couple of months that I've come to terms with the fact that I'm just not as happy as I could be. And it's only since events over the last 3 weeks have unfolded and since talking to close friends, that I've come to the realisation of just how deep that unhappiness runs.
It was a shock to be honest. I'm not talking about any one particular thing - I'm talking generally. Until I was talking to friends about life, love, health, careers, travel, EVERYTHING, I didn't realise how much dissatisfaction had built up inside me. I will not ever have another year without travelling - imagine someone told you you couldn't do the one thing you love the most. Imagine how you would feel. I see other people's holiday pictures on FB and I find myself green with envy! Ridiculous. I didn't realise how much I was YEARNING for big belly laughs, smiles, travel, excitement and general HAPPINESS.
This concept...this realisation...has actually been really difficult for me to deal with and understand. I was forced to step back and recognise the causes...and as things started to get clearer, I've made the decision to start making changes. Why bother to wait until the new year? I'm starting my new year's resolutions. Today.
It's a simple resolution, under which is a whole load of sub-resolutions. What do I want for 2015? One word.
HAPPINESS.
I'm choosing happiness over money. I'm choosing happiness over fear. I want to be happy. I want to do the things that make me happy instead of doing what people or society expect me to. I want to share the things that make me happy with people who are important to me.
I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what is staring back at me. I want my confidence back and I want to take back the power of how I view myself, instead of how others view me.
I want to stop expecting so much of other people - to try accepting more. I don't even just want this - I need this. That way, I don't have to deal with this constant feeling of disappointment. At the same time, I want to be accepted as I am; to bring out the best in other people so that they want to better themselves in order to exceed my expectations. Not because I want them to, but because they WANT to do that for me.
I want to surround myself with positive and inspiring people. We are all fighting some kind of battle. I know that I could learn from others' positivity, even in dark times, in order to help me get through my own.
I used to be a super positive person. I want that back. I want to stop focussing so hard on the negative and channel that energy into trying to find the positive - even in shitty situations.
I saw this on the internet yesterday:
"Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it".
Youch - how true does that ring?? It's hard because that place you lost your happiness can also be the place that you want it most. Can be anything - family, work, relationships, habits, health. Anything.
Something I'll still be taking into the new year is to not give up on something until I've done everything I possibly can to make it work. That applies to everything. And whilst it may cause me a lot of ballache (LOL - if i had any!), at least I won't regret anything in the same way I would if I was one of those people who just thought f*** it and walked away from a situation the second it gets tough. I'll get to walk away knowing there's nothing else I could've done. Even if it turns out that it wasn't worth the effort, that's just the type of person I am.
Time to get some of my old sparkle back. I didn't realise how much I've changed until close friends pointed it out.
One of the most important things I'm taking with me into next year is something one of my close girlfriends said. Not her exact words, but the message was basically along the lines of the fact that just because things in my life aren't going well, and just because I might be feeling like complete and utter shit, it doesn't mean that I have to be mean to other people. And it certainly doesn't give me the right to be a bitch to other people. She told me that even when her world came crashing down, she made an effort to be nice to the people around her.
She's completely right. It's not other people's fault events are unfolding as they are in my life. Commence the feelings of guilt.
Off the bat, I can already think of several instances where I've taken this out on other people. How unfair and selfish of me.
I'm sorry.
I'm taking back control.
My happiness is no one else's responsibility except my own.
Here's to a much happier 2015!
xoxo
Monday 1 December 2014
Happiness
Today I read this super interesting article that my friend posted on FB:
"15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy".
If you haven't already, you should definitely check it out. There is literally something in there everyone can learn from. It's such a good read!. And it's also reminded me of the fact that we have more control over our own happiness that we realise. Such an eye opener! But what happens more often than not, is that for some reason we don't take as much responsibility for our own happiness as we should.
And now that it's December and the year is coming to a close, it's time to start thinking about what the new year is going to bring. Because one thing's for sure, I'm not having another year like this one.
So apparently these are some of the things we need to give up!
1. Give Up Your Need To Always Be Right
I don't think I'm insanely guilty of this one, but I certainly know some people who are! I don't think I'm too bad at just backing down - I'm not going to go on insisting that I'm right when I'm wrong. LOL! I'm at a point now where it's just easier to let someone else think they're right. On the inside, I'll know if I am. HAHAHA! Some people will just never back down and it's not worth the energy, time or grief!
2. Give Up Your Need For Control
Much harder. Much, much harder. Especially when this article is trying to tell you to take responsibility for your own happiness, and that you are in control of your own happiness. I get what it means when it says that we should just let people be as they are, or let things be as they are, but if they aren't what make you happy and aren't willing to change, then there's no need to have to settle for that, right? It's hard to let go of that control when there is a fear of something going wrong. I would think that's just natural....in most situations anyway.
3. Give Up On Blame
I am very aware of my own shortcomings and I'm very aware when I've done something wrong. I know I can take responsibility for it - I don't need to blame anyone...except myself for allowing others to behave a certain way, or for allowing certain things to happen. There are so many things that have happened this year that I know I should have taken a much stronger stand on...if I had, who knows what the end of this year would have been like. There is no one to blame for what's happened over the course of the latter half of this year. I made my choices....I'm the one that has to deal with them.
4. Give Up Your Self-Defeating Self-Talk
"The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive".
Don't I know it. It's so hard not to believe what your mind is telling you. It's probably the biggest thing that I have to work on. I think this is the place I need to start. Seriously.
5. Give Up Your Limiting Beliefs
I want this more for someone else. Normally when I say I can't do something, I'm normally referring to exercise! LOL! Especially doing P90X - the temptation to just give up is too strong, but the motivation and support from other people around keeps me doing these god awful exercises to failure. But there is someone else that I just wish would believe they were capable of doing something. We don't have to give in or give up...not if we really don't want to. I know they can do it - I just don't know how to make them see that. =(
6. Give Up Complaining
HAHAHA! Complaining is a British sport!!! I mean, I can try and reign it in a bit...but to be honest, winter is coming (and is practically here already). The complaining is only going to get worse! But I'm gonna try and make a conscious effort not to complain about things I know I can do something about, and just try and actually do something about them instead.
7. Give Up The Luxury of Criticism
I don't need to criticise people for being different to me. Half of the friends that I now have, I would never have made if I hadn't come to Japan - there's no way our paths would have crossed otherwise, and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful to know such wonderful people, even if they aren't here anymore. But I will criticise you if you wear Crocs. Sorry! HAHAHA!
8. Give Up Your Need to Impress Others
I'm not saying I don't give a **** what anyone else thinks - everyone does to some extent, but sooner or later your true colours will show themselves, so I don't believe in trying to be someone I'm not for other people. The only thing I will do, is hold back until I decide how much of myself I want to show to someone else.
9. Give Up Your Resistance to Change
I'm not scared of change. If I was, I never would have been able to live in as many different countries as I have. That being said, once you've been somewhere for a while, taking that step to change can be an extremely daunting experience. But I know it's time.
10. Give Up Labels
"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about".
My oh my, there are a few people who I would like to slap in the face with that quote! I'm sure I'm not perfect in that respect either, but I will keep my mind as open as possible before making a judgement about something. And we all judge to an extent. It's just what people do.
11. Give Up On Your Fears
Another one of the places I need to start. It might all be in the mind, but it's hard to just let go of that fear in certain situations.
12. Give Up Your Excuses
I think we could all find an excuse to do (or not to do) anything. At the end of the day, with certain things, it just takes that strength and willpower to do what we need to do.
God, I wish I could actually do half this stuff I'm blogging about!! I know what I need to do - why can't I do it?! Laziness and fear!
13. Give Up The Past
Youchhhhhh - this is a tough one. We are all shaped in some way or other by our pasts - like so many other people, mine has been colourful, I've been through a lot and I've experienced a lot.
Something that is sticking with me more and more though, is something that my girl said. She was talking about relationships, but I still think it can apply to other things.
She basically said that she would settle for nothing less than AMAZING. She told me that she has dealt with so many what she called "injured souls", that she's aware of exactly what she wants and what she deserves.
We all deserve that "amazing", but I also believe you may not be able to see that right off the bat. A lot of things that you deal with in all aspects of life aren't amazing off the bat. You have to work through the crap to find that AMAZING. And if it's there, you'll find it! LOL! Good for her though, there's nothing wrong with setting your standards so high - whether it's relationships, or work, or friendships.
14. Give Up Attachment
I'm not really sure what this one meant or what it was referring to. I feel that detaching yourself means not being in love with someone or caring about something...I guess it doesn't have to be like that. The article says "attachment comes from a place of fear, while real love is pure, kind, and selfless. Where there is love there can't be fear".
I don't know if I agree with that - everyone has fears don't they? Is this one supposed to only refer to relationships? What do you think?
15. Give Up Living Your Life to Other People's Expectations
I know that I made a huge sacrifice this year and I also know that the decision I made at the beginning of this year hasn't made me happy. I don't regret making it, but I also know what I need to do next year to be happier. I don't feel like I've been trying to please everyone, but I know that I've made some decisions that I wouldn't normally make, primarily because I've put other people before myself, or I thought that people were expecting that of me. I can be just as selfless as I can be selfish, and I think that so many people take advantage of that.
All of these things - they're true. It's just going to take a bit of work to employ them all.
But one thing I know for sure...
...there is no way I'm having another year like this one.
I won't stand for it.
Taking back control.
Hang on, aren't I supposed to be not as controlling according to this article?! LOLOLOLOLOL! Not sure how that one's going to work out!
xoxo
"15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy".
If you haven't already, you should definitely check it out. There is literally something in there everyone can learn from. It's such a good read!. And it's also reminded me of the fact that we have more control over our own happiness that we realise. Such an eye opener! But what happens more often than not, is that for some reason we don't take as much responsibility for our own happiness as we should.
And now that it's December and the year is coming to a close, it's time to start thinking about what the new year is going to bring. Because one thing's for sure, I'm not having another year like this one.
So apparently these are some of the things we need to give up!
1. Give Up Your Need To Always Be Right
I don't think I'm insanely guilty of this one, but I certainly know some people who are! I don't think I'm too bad at just backing down - I'm not going to go on insisting that I'm right when I'm wrong. LOL! I'm at a point now where it's just easier to let someone else think they're right. On the inside, I'll know if I am. HAHAHA! Some people will just never back down and it's not worth the energy, time or grief!
2. Give Up Your Need For Control
Much harder. Much, much harder. Especially when this article is trying to tell you to take responsibility for your own happiness, and that you are in control of your own happiness. I get what it means when it says that we should just let people be as they are, or let things be as they are, but if they aren't what make you happy and aren't willing to change, then there's no need to have to settle for that, right? It's hard to let go of that control when there is a fear of something going wrong. I would think that's just natural....in most situations anyway.
3. Give Up On Blame
I am very aware of my own shortcomings and I'm very aware when I've done something wrong. I know I can take responsibility for it - I don't need to blame anyone...except myself for allowing others to behave a certain way, or for allowing certain things to happen. There are so many things that have happened this year that I know I should have taken a much stronger stand on...if I had, who knows what the end of this year would have been like. There is no one to blame for what's happened over the course of the latter half of this year. I made my choices....I'm the one that has to deal with them.
4. Give Up Your Self-Defeating Self-Talk
"The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive".
Don't I know it. It's so hard not to believe what your mind is telling you. It's probably the biggest thing that I have to work on. I think this is the place I need to start. Seriously.
5. Give Up Your Limiting Beliefs
I want this more for someone else. Normally when I say I can't do something, I'm normally referring to exercise! LOL! Especially doing P90X - the temptation to just give up is too strong, but the motivation and support from other people around keeps me doing these god awful exercises to failure. But there is someone else that I just wish would believe they were capable of doing something. We don't have to give in or give up...not if we really don't want to. I know they can do it - I just don't know how to make them see that. =(
6. Give Up Complaining
HAHAHA! Complaining is a British sport!!! I mean, I can try and reign it in a bit...but to be honest, winter is coming (and is practically here already). The complaining is only going to get worse! But I'm gonna try and make a conscious effort not to complain about things I know I can do something about, and just try and actually do something about them instead.
7. Give Up The Luxury of Criticism
I don't need to criticise people for being different to me. Half of the friends that I now have, I would never have made if I hadn't come to Japan - there's no way our paths would have crossed otherwise, and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful to know such wonderful people, even if they aren't here anymore. But I will criticise you if you wear Crocs. Sorry! HAHAHA!
8. Give Up Your Need to Impress Others
I'm not saying I don't give a **** what anyone else thinks - everyone does to some extent, but sooner or later your true colours will show themselves, so I don't believe in trying to be someone I'm not for other people. The only thing I will do, is hold back until I decide how much of myself I want to show to someone else.
9. Give Up Your Resistance to Change
I'm not scared of change. If I was, I never would have been able to live in as many different countries as I have. That being said, once you've been somewhere for a while, taking that step to change can be an extremely daunting experience. But I know it's time.
10. Give Up Labels
"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about".
My oh my, there are a few people who I would like to slap in the face with that quote! I'm sure I'm not perfect in that respect either, but I will keep my mind as open as possible before making a judgement about something. And we all judge to an extent. It's just what people do.
11. Give Up On Your Fears
Another one of the places I need to start. It might all be in the mind, but it's hard to just let go of that fear in certain situations.
12. Give Up Your Excuses
I think we could all find an excuse to do (or not to do) anything. At the end of the day, with certain things, it just takes that strength and willpower to do what we need to do.
God, I wish I could actually do half this stuff I'm blogging about!! I know what I need to do - why can't I do it?! Laziness and fear!
13. Give Up The Past
Youchhhhhh - this is a tough one. We are all shaped in some way or other by our pasts - like so many other people, mine has been colourful, I've been through a lot and I've experienced a lot.
Something that is sticking with me more and more though, is something that my girl said. She was talking about relationships, but I still think it can apply to other things.
She basically said that she would settle for nothing less than AMAZING. She told me that she has dealt with so many what she called "injured souls", that she's aware of exactly what she wants and what she deserves.
We all deserve that "amazing", but I also believe you may not be able to see that right off the bat. A lot of things that you deal with in all aspects of life aren't amazing off the bat. You have to work through the crap to find that AMAZING. And if it's there, you'll find it! LOL! Good for her though, there's nothing wrong with setting your standards so high - whether it's relationships, or work, or friendships.
14. Give Up Attachment
I'm not really sure what this one meant or what it was referring to. I feel that detaching yourself means not being in love with someone or caring about something...I guess it doesn't have to be like that. The article says "attachment comes from a place of fear, while real love is pure, kind, and selfless. Where there is love there can't be fear".
I don't know if I agree with that - everyone has fears don't they? Is this one supposed to only refer to relationships? What do you think?
15. Give Up Living Your Life to Other People's Expectations
I know that I made a huge sacrifice this year and I also know that the decision I made at the beginning of this year hasn't made me happy. I don't regret making it, but I also know what I need to do next year to be happier. I don't feel like I've been trying to please everyone, but I know that I've made some decisions that I wouldn't normally make, primarily because I've put other people before myself, or I thought that people were expecting that of me. I can be just as selfless as I can be selfish, and I think that so many people take advantage of that.
All of these things - they're true. It's just going to take a bit of work to employ them all.
But one thing I know for sure...
...there is no way I'm having another year like this one.
I won't stand for it.
Taking back control.
Hang on, aren't I supposed to be not as controlling according to this article?! LOLOLOLOLOL! Not sure how that one's going to work out!
xoxo
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