Happiness

Today I read this super interesting article that my friend posted on FB:

"15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy".

If you haven't already, you should definitely check it out. There is literally something in there everyone can learn from. It's such a good read!. And it's also reminded me of the fact that we have more control over our own happiness that we realise. Such an eye opener! But what happens more often than not, is that for some reason we don't take as much responsibility for our own happiness as we should.

And now that it's December and the year is coming to a close, it's time to start thinking about what the new year is going to bring. Because one thing's for sure, I'm not having another year like this one. 

So apparently these are some of the things we need to give up!

1. Give Up Your Need To Always Be Right

I don't think I'm insanely guilty of this one, but I certainly know some people who are! I don't think I'm too bad at just backing down - I'm not going to go on insisting that I'm right when I'm wrong. LOL! I'm at a point now where it's just easier to let someone else think they're right. On the inside, I'll know if I am. HAHAHA! Some people will just never back down and it's not worth the energy, time or grief! 

2. Give Up Your Need For Control

Much harder. Much, much harder. Especially when this article is trying to tell you to take responsibility for your own happiness, and that you are in control of your own happiness.  I get what it means when it says that we should just let people be as they are, or let things be as they are, but if they aren't what make you happy and aren't willing to change, then there's no need to have to settle for that, right? It's hard to let go of that control when there is a fear of something going wrong. I would think that's just natural....in most situations anyway.

3. Give Up On Blame

I am very aware of my own shortcomings and I'm very aware when I've done something wrong. I know I can take responsibility for it - I don't need to blame anyone...except myself for allowing others to behave a certain way, or for allowing certain things to happen. There are so many things that have happened this year that I know I should have taken a much stronger stand on...if I had, who knows what the end of this year would have been like. There is no one to blame for what's happened over the course of the latter half of this year. I made my choices....I'm the one that has to deal with them. 

4. Give Up Your Self-Defeating Self-Talk

"The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive".

Don't I know it. It's so hard not to believe what your mind is telling you. It's probably the biggest thing that I have to work on. I think this is the place I need to start. Seriously. 

5. Give Up Your Limiting Beliefs

I want this more for someone else. Normally when I say I can't do something, I'm normally referring to exercise! LOL! Especially doing P90X - the temptation to just give up is too strong, but the motivation and support from other people around keeps me doing these god awful exercises to failure. But there is someone else that I just wish would believe they were capable of doing something. We don't have to give in or give up...not if we really don't want to. I know they can do it - I just don't know how to make them see that. =(

6. Give Up Complaining

HAHAHA! Complaining is a British sport!!! I mean, I can try and reign it in a bit...but to be honest, winter is coming (and is practically here already). The complaining is only going to get worse! But I'm gonna try and make a conscious effort not to complain about things I know I can do something about, and just try and actually do something about them instead.

7. Give Up The Luxury of Criticism

I don't need to criticise people for being different to me. Half of the friends that I now have, I would never have made if I hadn't come to Japan - there's no way our paths would have crossed otherwise, and I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful to know such wonderful people, even if they aren't here anymore. But I will criticise you if you wear Crocs. Sorry! HAHAHA!

8. Give Up Your Need to Impress Others

I'm not saying I don't give a **** what anyone else thinks - everyone does to some extent, but sooner or later your true colours will show themselves, so I don't believe in trying to be someone I'm not for other people. The only thing I will do, is hold back until I decide how much of myself I want to show to someone else. 

9. Give Up Your Resistance to Change

I'm not scared of change. If I was, I never would have been able to live in as many different countries as I have. That being said, once you've been somewhere for a while, taking that step to change can be an extremely daunting experience. But I know it's time.

10. Give Up Labels

"The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don't know anything about".

My oh my, there are a few people who I would like to slap in the face with that quote! I'm sure I'm not perfect in that respect either, but I will keep my mind as open as possible before making a judgement about something. And we all judge to an extent. It's just what people do.

11. Give Up On Your Fears

Another one of the places I need to start. It might all be in the mind, but it's hard to just let go of that fear in certain situations. 

12. Give Up Your Excuses

I think we could all find an excuse to do (or not to do) anything. At the end of the day, with certain things, it just takes that strength and willpower to do what we need to do.

God, I wish I could actually do half this stuff I'm blogging about!! I know what I need to do - why can't I do it?! Laziness and fear!

13. Give Up The Past

Youchhhhhh - this is a tough one. We are all shaped in some way or other by our pasts - like so many other people, mine has been colourful, I've been through a lot and I've experienced a lot.

Something that is sticking with me more and more though, is something that my girl said. She was talking about relationships, but I still think it can apply to other things. 

She basically said that she would settle for nothing less than AMAZING. She told me that she has dealt with so many what she called "injured souls", that she's aware of exactly what she wants and what she deserves.

We all deserve that "amazing", but I also believe you may not be able to see that right off the bat. A lot of things that you deal with in all aspects of life aren't amazing off the bat. You have to work through the crap to find that AMAZING. And if it's there, you'll find it! LOL! Good for her though, there's nothing wrong with setting your standards so high - whether it's relationships, or work, or friendships. 

14. Give Up Attachment

I'm not really sure what this one meant or what it was referring to. I feel that detaching yourself means not being in love with someone or caring about something...I guess it doesn't have to be like that. The article says "attachment comes from a place of fear, while real love is pure, kind, and selfless. Where there is love there can't be fear".

I don't know if I agree with that - everyone has fears don't they? Is this one supposed to only refer to relationships? What do you think?

15. Give Up Living Your Life to Other People's Expectations

I know that I made a huge sacrifice this year and I also know that the decision I made at the beginning of this year hasn't made me happy. I don't regret making it, but I also know what I need to do next year to be happier. I don't feel like I've been trying to please everyone, but I know that I've made some decisions that I wouldn't normally make, primarily because I've put other people before myself, or I thought that people were expecting that of me. I can be just as selfless as I can be selfish, and I think that so many people take advantage of that. 

All of these things - they're true. It's just going to take a bit of work to employ them all.

But one thing I know for sure...

...there is no way I'm having another year like this one.

I won't stand for it.

Taking back control.

Hang on, aren't I supposed to be not as controlling according to this article?! LOLOLOLOLOL! Not sure how that one's going to work out!


xoxo