GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!

That is what I wanted to SCREAM at my 小学校の２年生 classes today.

At any other schools when you tell the kids to stop it they do. But not at this school.

The little shits never stop clambering and tugging on your clothes, slapping your ass, pulling whatever you've got in your hands from you, sticking their fingers in dirty places and then trying to touch you. YUCK!

But what really got my back up today..

..first, this kid who quite frankly is an eyesore, kept stepping on the back of my flip flops while i was walking. I don't know how many different ways I tried to tell him to stop but he didn't. I wanted to just shove his face onto the floor.

...second, this annoying girl who I just hate anyway kept saying bye to me. OVER AND OVER AGAIN!! and then proceeded to follow me to the staff room still shouting GOODBYE and then to my car. I just stopped responding but that didn't stop her.

yeh yeh yeh they're just kids blah blah blah. But they don't act like that in any of my other 4 primary schools so I'm allowed to bitch.

It's only this school that I feel so negatively towards the kids. They just haven't got a clue about boundaries. And they do my nut every week. They don't even register my irritated voice, even when I'm speaking to them in Japanese.

Punks.

SODS Law

Why is it that when things are awesome something has go and fuck it up?

You go through that patch where everything is a bit shitty - you're feeling ill or rowing with someone or having a crappy time at work.

And then everything gets better - just like that. And things are REALLY REALLY good. And you're happy.

Why can't it stay like that?

*sigh*

HOUSE

So after finishing Season 4 of Lost, Season 2 of Heroes, Seasons 1-3 of How I Met Your Mother and Season 1 of Gossip Girl, I've now started watching House.

Quite a nice change watching medical shows actually - I'd forgotten how much I like them.

And then I realised how much of a sitcom addict I've become since I've been here! I think it comes from not being able to bear crap Japanese TV. I did get into a J-drama but that finished after just 15 episodes! A far cry from a 22 episode American sitcom. Other than that I generally get annoyed with Japanese TV. The way they subtitle everything unnecessarily and it's just NOT FUNNY!!

So it's not surprising really that I've ended up watching so much TV online! I've steadily been working my way through season 1 of House and I love it! Just will Cameron and House get it on?!

Watch this space!!

xx

Burnt to a Crisp

I am in so much pain!!!

I went camping at the weekend. I love camping on the beach - chilling, relaxing, BBQ, frisbee, beer, champagne and friends.

The weather was GORGEOUS. It was boiling on Sunday....so much so that none of us thought anything about spending 10 hours outside. Too hot in the tent - let's get in the water!! HOW STUPID can we be sometimes?!

Now I have a face the colour of a lobster. And everywhere burns. My shoulders are the worst - sleeping is so painful!!

So dumb. I have no idea why at any point that we were all screaming 厚い！that none of us thought to seek any shade. And we are all paying the price now!

ARGH!

The future or the here and now?

Realistically, how far into the future can you plan ahead? Or even think ahead? Is it ridiculous to try and think about how things might possibly work out in 2 years time?

Maybe, maybe not. I don't think that there's anything wrong with thinking ahead in order to protect yourself. Thinking だけ。And just because you're thinking about the future, it doesn't mean that you're not thinking about the here and now as well. It doesn't stop you from enjoying what's going on right now.......why can't someone think about both?

Things happen, things change - of course they do! But it doesn't mean that it's bad to think so far ahead!

Man up, girl!

If you look back over the years and think how you once were, the change really is incredible.

I would never have thought I would be a teacher 2 years ago. In fact, it was probably one of the careers that I avoided like the plague.

And yet here I am.

I have changed so much over the years...and whilst the changes are good, it's still a little bit scary to see how differently you react in certain situations than you used to. Whilst you may used to be as strong as a piece of steel, that piece of steel has thinned over the years, rusted and is now more susceptible than it was once.

But that doesn't mean the end of the world! Right now i'm looking to get that inner strength back without losing any of the qualities that I have discovered over the last few years.

Things are as big a deal as you wanna make them...so I've told myself today....

Man up, girl!!

My Apology to My Past

I am in agony right now. Maybe agony is too strong a word, but I am definitely hurting.

I don't think I have ever experienced pain on this level. And I have absolutely no idea how to deal with it!!

To all the men that I screwed over in the past....to the men that fell in love with me and I trampled all over you and thought it was funny...I'M SORRY. To the men I purposely made feel inadequate and small because I could....I'M SORRY. To the men I turned into pathetic wrecks and then cruelly dismissed...I'M SORRY.

You will be pleased to know that Karma does exist. And I am paying the price right now. But you may or may not be pleased to know that I couldn't be any further from that person right now. Love has softened me and changed me for the better.

I think yesterday I may I learnt the very valuable lesson that necking a bottle of wine on an empty stomach doesn't make everything better. The pain is still there when you sober up.

Ideas on pain management please!!

Long Distance

Do long distance relationships work? I've never been a believer myself. I don't think I could cope with constantly wondering what my man was doing and who he was doing it with. I think it would turn me into a paranoid, jealous wreck. I think that a couple must have seriously profound trust for a long distance relationship to work.

I mean, people who are working with me have chosen to have a long distance relationship. And I applaud them because it is something that i would NEVER choose to do. EVER. But what happens when it may be forced upon you? What happens when you have to come to terms with the fact that you may only see your boyfriend/girlfriend once every couple of months after you've been seeing them twice a week? How does it work? DOES it even work?

I would REALLY love to know your opinions on this. Because personally, the thought of having to go through it breaks my heart. :-(