Monogamy

Pron. /məˈnɒɡəmi/.

"The practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner".

Why am I talking about this?

I'm not joking - I have seriously lost faith in mankind!!!!!!

Over the last year or so, I have found myself surrounded by serial cheaters, compulsive liars and  just complete arseholes who have literally ZERO respect for their partners. Friends, friends of friends, acquaintances, strangers who are just way too liberal with the information they choose to share with you. That number seems to be increasing every day.

With the internet and smartphone applications, it's WAAAAYYYYYY too easy to cheat. And with the increasing number of passcode protected private browsing apps, getting away with it is also becoming easier. 

Hearing stories from people around me, out of curiosity I started to do a bit of research online. The first, most alarming thing was the sheer NUMBER of online dating sites and apps. There are effing LOADS of them! And then I just felt sad as I scrolled through and saw that there are sites specifically for married people or people in relationships. 

WTF man.

That's disgusting.

And I find it quite upsetting, just because the existence of things like this provide unnecessary temptation. I've already heard it - I was in the hairdresser last weekend listening to five men talking about cheating on their wives and girlfriends. 

"I was just looking out of curiosity".

"Then I started talking to this girl".

"We exchanged phone numbers and went on a date".

"Now we hook up once a week for a bit of harmless fun".

No such thing as harmless fun like that when you're attached, love. Jesus.

Wow.

Do people not understand the meaning of loyalty anymore?

You don't look at this s*** "out of curiosity" or "just to see what's out there" if you claim to be madly in love and happy. By their own admission (in the end), there's only one reason they were looking at these kinds of websites...and it was definitely with the intention of playing about. Once you start on this path...I dunno...you're not with the right person. The second that you start thinking that it's harmless because there's no way your partner will find out....well, that's the end of the road isn't it. Be kind to your partner and let them go because they don't deserve to be on the receiving end of such disrespect and bulls***.

I think it's really hurtful to think your partner will cheat because they think you won't find out. The fact that people are cheating in the first place shows something needs to be fixed - whether it's the relationship of the person themselves. People choose the easy option and try and have their cake and eat it. In some circumstances there may be good reasons for cheating (that sounds ridiculous), but from the people around me, it seems to be purely a matter of greed, selfishness, and a complete under-appreciation of what people have; complete disrespect for their partners.

Let me be clear - I'm not just talking about men cheating on women. I have a female friend who's behaving just as appallingly. She caught her man cheating, decided to forgive him, and is now cheating herself as a way of "protecting herself" (her words) from the pain of getting hurt again.

Hmmmm. Not sure how that works.

Her man is away on business A LOT. Every time he leaves, she's back online, screwing away for one or two weeks, and then deleting all the evidence when he comes back. Every time.

Heard that story a few times. My question to her was "How do you know he's not doing the exact same thing?" My question to all the men in the hairdressers is "How do you know your wives and girlfriends aren't doing the exact same thing?" All it would require is deleting all the evidence and no one would be any the wiser. You can ask your partner to show you their phone or their history - but you're not gonna find anything there because 99.9% of the time, anything incriminating would have been deleted. So how the hell are you supposed to know whether someone is telling you the truth?

How the hell are you supposed to trust anyone these days when people are thinking like this?

The sad thing?

I know at least 3 people who behave like this. It's so upsetting because it just makes you realise that people who carry on like this are just impossible to trust. Once they've been caught, it takes so much to earn that trust back. It can be done, but I think most people don't have the patience required to help their partner through it. 

Why wouldn't you want your partner to trust you? These people cheat and then complain when their partners are always suspicious of what they're doing and who they're talking to.

Well, duh.

You've done it once and your partner is petrified you're going to do it again. It's that simple. And from what I've seen and heard, they're STILL doing it - they're just being more careful now. How are your partners supposed to trust you when you don't show them that they can?! Intuition is a dangerous thing.

It's just disgusting. People are pigs. Why don't people respect their partners anymore? Why do people intentionally choose to do something that they know would hurt their partners f they found out? The stories I read online were just SHOCKING.

Thing is, people don't think that they're going to get caught, and that's the problem. Pure selfishness and disrespect. Taking advantage of their partners' trust.

I don't care if this reads as judgemental. For the most part, it is. I know every relationship isn't as black and white as that, but I'm only going from what I've been told from the people around me, and what I've read online. So don't judge me for judging! LOL!

I've been on both sides of the table. And I learnt the hard way. I just don't think it should be too much to ask for partners to actually give a f*** about each other enough to be faithful. A friend of mine had this quote on his Instagram page:

"You can make excuses, or you can make it happen. Both can't happen at the same time. In the end, it will all work out the way it was supposed to".

At the end of the day, if someone has f***** and they still want to be with that person, then they have to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to win that trust back. Suck it up. Bear the tears and the anger and the suspicion and the frustration. People may get annoyed, but at the end of the day, they need to remember that they are the ones who did this. It is their actions that did this. Take responsibility for it, deal with it and move on. That period of crap that I assume most couples go through once one partner has cheated, is a test of how badly both people want to work it out.

Respect, honesty and loyalty.

All slowly disappearing in this day and age.

Tragic.

Goodness me, people are just AWFUL!

That's my rant over! LOL!

xoxo