What To Do....

God, I feel so confused about stuff right now.

After the quake, I got so many emails from people all over the world checking to see if I'm OK.

Including a mail from someone I fell out with 4 years ago.

It was a shock. It stunned me. She was my bestest, BESTEST friend and after that fall out, we hadn't exchanged a word since. Until now.

It's weird, I'm suddenly full of mixed emotions. Do people really recover friendships after such a long time? One part of me is so happy to hear from her again - happy that she reached out.....the other part of me is confused as to why now? Naturally when there is a natural disaster, it does make you think about what's important and you try to make things in your life better....but I dunno, I just feel really unsure of how to handle this.

We went through so much together and then it was just over. Just like that. No talking about it, no trying to work through it - just complete disconnection. I hadn't thought about her for such a long time and now I find myself smiling at amazing memories that we have.

I want to try and reconcile - I do. I think we just don't know how to go about it. I know for sure that I don't wanna drag up memories of our fallout and try to analyze what happened, but then again are we supposed to just start talking again like nothing has happened? There is now a 4 year gap where we have both changed so much and both our circumstances have changed as well. I just feel really confused by the whole thing - it's been such a long time.

Excited, scared, worried, suspicious, nauseous, laughing, crying, elation....

It's too much.

xoxo