First Day Back

I bit the bullet and went back to work today.

I'd already controlled my schedule so that I wouldn't be facing too many clients today but I couldn't decide if all those breaks were good for me or whether they made me feel worse! I tended to spend the whole time talking to someone so that I didn't have time to just sit there and work out how I really feel.

The weather isn't helping my mood - I've come home and now there's a thunderstorm. Great.

Looking forward to starting next week with no stress - tomorrow night is gonna be INSANE as I complete my move but at least come Monday, I can start working on making the whole of my house my own. I have tons of paintings for the walls and I'm looking forward to adding some style and feminine touches.

You'll be the first ones over when the makeover is complete! Yay!

Finally booked an appointment to cover all these greys as well - I mean, it's about time! It's not something I can really afford right now but to be honest, I'm sick of walking around looking a complete and utter state. It's depressing. =(

xoxo

Doh!

You know what?

After everything that I did yesterday to fight this cold, I kinda expected to wake up with a spring in my step....which totally didn't happen!!

don't get me wrong, I got up at 5am, went to jump in the shower and then realised that my chest felt tight and everything ACHED from all the coughing. And then I had a mammoth coughing fit and realised that I still wasn't ready to go back to work.

If I had one of those jobs where I could shut myself up in an office and do routine desk work all day, I would've gone in. But, because my job requires a lot of client facing talking, it would have been impossible. Especially because it's the talking that aggravates the cough.

I got through the entire Cycle 10 of America's Next Top Model since I've been off. I dunno why I started with season 10 - I've never watched it before and that one had the most links so I just went for it and now I think I'm hooked! Tyra Banks is just phenomenally stunning it's incredible!!

But yah, throughout the day I've been feeling much better. I managed to get out to the supermarket and get a whole load of fresh fruit and yoghurt - makes a change to the honey - I was getting worried that my teeth would fall out!!! I've been up since 5 today though, so I'm feeling really tired now but I'm hoping that I'll wake up tomorrow feeling back to normal, or at least 90%.

I can't afford to take another day off work, so I really need to go in.

xoxo

Let The Fight Begin!

Enough already.

I am so sick of being sick that I'm actually going to make more of a proactive effort to get rid of this cold that has been doing my head in for the last couple of days.

I always push myself to go into work when I'm sick so my body never gets the rest to fully recuperate like it needs to. I swear if I hadn't of gone into work on Monday, I would have been OK by today.

A lesson learned. Despite feeling much better today and having gotten rid of the temperature, I called in sick. I still have this ridiculous cough which isn't gonna go anywhere unless I preserve my voice and rest my throat. Something that my job doesn't allow me to do. After the embarrassment of coughing all the way through a lesson yesterday, I figured that it would be best just to cancel a short shift today so that I could rest and (hopefully) feel better and refreshed for a long day back at work tomorrow.

I have drunk so many cups of tea with honey today that I'm losing my appetite! Actually, I don't think I have eaten anything all day but the truth is I'm so full with tea that I just don't want anything! At least I still have that pizza I ordered yesterday if I feel peckish. Not the healthiest thing in the world but whatever. Man, I could really go for a blueberry smoothie right now. Energy booster! I might ask my flatmate to pick me up some when he heads out food shopping later.

All the windows are closed, the air con is off and I am literally sweating this shit out in bed. It's seriously gross - a change of sheets is gonna be required after today! Eeeeuuuuuuwwwww! I know if I can just get more of a control on this damn cough, then I'll be fine. It's the only problem now. The congestion's gone, the temperature's gone, that general lethargic feeling has almost gone - it's mainly dure to the lack of sleep because I was up all night coughing. And it's making my stomach muscles ache. Doh!

I can't believe it's 3pm already. How come when the time comes that you need to kick back and slowly rest that time just flies but crawls when you're suffering at work. Typical.

Fingers crossed this works and I'll be feeling much better tomorrow.

xoxo

F*** UP

Because I was feeling so shit, I decided to treat myself to a pizza....and a hot, custard pie.

The food came, I ate the pie, took one look at the pizza, shut the lid again, waited for it to cool down and then put it in the fridge.

Funny how you think you want something and then when you get it, you realise that you don't want it at all.

Lol - that's applicable to so many things in life, right?

I guess at least it's there if I feel that way inclined tomorrow. And I'm talking about the pizza now by the way!

Since I don't have to get up early tomorrow, I'm gonna watch another movie.

No, I'm not feeling any better - think I've managed to get my temperature down but this cough is driving me absolutely INSANE!! Anyone got any ideas about how to get rid of it? Preferably without having to take anything? I find that any kind of cough medicine never works anyway - just soothes the throat for a couple of hours before the fits start up again.

Suggestions please!

xoxo

*Cough Cough Splutter Splutter*

My God I am feeling like complete and utter shite.

After an awful day at work yesterday, I cancelled my private lesson, came home and passed straight out. I woke up at 9 and had a quick chat with my flatmate before hopping back into bed, putting in my earphones and going to sleep. I probably fell asleep at midnight....

....and slept right through until 9.30 this morning.

I can't even remember the last time I slept right through for that long without waking up at least once. I woke up coughing and spluttering and absolutely drenched in sweat as I realised that I had a raging fever. Not to mention that I don't like sleeping with the air con on and I left the windows closed because I knew I could sleep in and didn't wanna be woken up by any outside noise.

I was still feeling a little bunged up, but it was no way near as bad as yesterday. Today it's the cough's turn. As I felt my temperature rise, I was bursting into mammoth coughing fits all morning. Holed up in bed, I started watching movie after movie, hoping that I'd feel better come work time. An hour before I was due to leave, I called in with the intention of cancelling my shift, but somehow managed to get emotionally blackmailed into going in.

I had to stand under the air con the entire way because I felt so insanely hot - not surprising since I was running a fever of 39.6. >_< Drugged up, I got into work and literally coughed and spluttered my way through an agonising 40 minute lesson with a client that I cannot STAND. I gave up after that. Even though I had a couple of lessons cancelled, leaving me with only my regulars, there was no way I would have been able to sit through another 3 lessons like that. We've all been there - coughing fits are so embarrassing and you just end up feeling so damn awful that all you can do is look at the clock and pray that the time can go just that lil bit faster.

So now I'm back home.

I've worked out that I've had a headache for 3 days. Of course it's fine when I'm on the medicine but it never seems to let up. Gonna see how the next couple of days go and then if it's still going on, I think I might have to go and see the doctor. I've never had a headache for that long - it's not a migraine but it's still annoyingly bad.

I can't help but wonder if they've been brought on because I've switched my pill. Apparently the one I was on combined with my age meant seriosuly increased risks of DVT and since I've been on it for so many years, I was advised to change. I won't be able to tell if it's that though for at least a month and until this cold has cleared up.

So shit. I was supposed to be moving my stuff upstairs as well today. Another setback is the last thing I need as I'm slowly running out of time to get everything ready for my new flatmate to move in.

Hate feeling like this. And I'm craving a jacket potato!

xoxo

A Tormented Soul

I was absolutely shocked to hear about the sudden death of Amy Winehouse.

Don't get me wrong - we all knew that she was on a self destructive path that was only gonna end up one way, but I didn't expect it to happen this soon.

Such a waste of a truly talented singer and songwriter. Without her breaking the mould of the Christina's and Britney's dominating the charts, other soul/jazz singers like Adele and Duffy would never had made it big. She paved the way for everyone to come.

I wasn't initially a fan - it wasn't her voice that annoyed me - it was that hair! But there was no denying the raw, soulfulness of that voice. "Rehab" was the turning point for me and I really started to love her after the release of the "Back to Black" album. All her songs - so raw and deep, written from true experience and from the soul. It's always the most tormented singers who have the most soulful voices.

Such a sad, sad story. She was so young as well. You keep reading how she's joined the "27 Club" or whatever it is they're calling it. It's not age that all these people had in common - it's alcohol and drug abuse.

I'm so sad that she wasn't able to get out of that dark, dark place that she was in. That she couldn't fix up and try to revive her career with more fabulous music. Such a waste of talent. British talent. She was her own worst enemy and it was awful to watch her throw away and destroy her career such a long time before the drugs and alcohol finally killed her.

If that is the cause of death - of course, nothing has been confirmed yet.

R.I.P

xoxo

Too Soon

Ergh - I really wish I had started back to work next week instead of going in today.

Jet lag hit me in full force and I had a tough day to go with it.

I ended up going to bed at like 10.30pm last night after a 4 hour nap. I also made the mistake of leaving the window open, so I was woken up by something (or someone) at like 4am. And then I woke up again at 5am and just layed there in bed until 8. It was only when I got on the train that I started to feel positively knackered again.

And remarkably, I managed to get through the day without a single can of red bull. I've cut my portions and trying to eat a little healthier until I can get back to the gym and lose this extra weight that I've put on. It's disgusting - nothing has ever wobbled before. So gross. No offence.

It was weird going back to work today. It's like I wasn't really there and my body was just going through the motions. It was good to see some familiar faces - one in particular...although to be honest, I really should give up on that.

I really think I'm going to. You get to a point when you realise that there really is just no point and I think I'm there now.

xoxo

ただいま！

I landed back in Japan this morning. And I have to say, that was the best long haul flight that I have ever taken!

Normally I get lumbered sitting next to some old fart who has no interest in talking to me and just keeps themselves to themselves. Not this time.

I was sitting in the departure lounge flicking through my passport, when this 18 year old guy made some comment about the number of times that I've been to Japan. We started chatted away and it turns out that we ended up sitting next to each other! He might have been young but he was kinda like one of those bright eyed, bushy tail people with so much energy which made him really fun to talk to.

Didn't necessarily make the time go any faster but it was definitely less boring!

I was gonna take the skyliner back but I couldn't be arsed to wait like 40 minutes for the next one, plus was bag was way too heavy to be lugging through 3 changes on the train. I ended up taking the airport limousine coach back to Shinjuku because from there, it's only one line back to my station. Thing is, there was so much traffic on the road that it ended up taking me like 2 hours to get back from the airport. It was worth the comfort though.

I've come back to a shitloada bills. Inhabitant tax, health insurance and pension is setting me back close to 800 quid a month. How ridiculous is that?! It feels good to be back in my place though - even though everything is really hectic right now with my flatmate moving out at the end of the month. I'm so excited to move upstairs to the bigger room - more space, a study, a blacony and more importantly - HUMUNGOUS closet space. Which could also be my downfall as I look to buy more clothes to fill it. I dread the day that I have to do what he's doing because I've accumulated so much in the last 4 years that I wouldn't know where to start when it comes to finally leaving the country.

But yah, it's definitely exciting. Kinda feels like a new start almost. Even though it's the same house, it's gonna be a new room and then a new flatmate - I've been at this place 2 years and I always seem to move every 2 years so it's quite fitting really.

So, so tired but I'm gonna try and stay up until my normal bedtime so that I don't screw myself over too much at work tomorrow. But looking at my huge, comfy, soft and snuggly bed, I might not be able to resist a nap.

xoxo

Keep It In The Past?

You know ages ago I told you about the girl that used to be my best friend that I fell out with 4 years ago?

I've just gotten back from seeing her.

It was weird. The whole time I was with her I felt guarded. I let her talk about her life while revealing the bare minimum about my own - purely for the reason that we so badly hurt each other back then that I opening up meant letting her back in again and I wasn't sure that I was ready to do that.

We spoke so long about other things and avoided the more serious conversation about the reasons why we fell out in the first place. Her memory of that night is so crystal clear, whereas my is so vague. She was mentioning things that I just couldn't recall - it was actually a little bit embarrassing not to remember things that were actually really important. I dunno.

We were both wrong. We both apologised. Now what?

So much time has passed and so much has changed. We both acknowledge that we can never go back - we're not even sure that we could even be friends again. In my mind rebuilding a friendship needs to be physical - you actually need to spend time together in order to build up that trust. Which is a bit difficult considering that we live on opposite sides of the world.

It was really hard to hear her say that our friendship wasn't where we thought it was. I understand completely and to an extent I agree. I wouldn't have done what I did and she wouldn't have done what she did it it was as strong as we thought it was but it kinda sounds like it wasn't real and that is DEFINITELY not the case. I really hope that she doesn't believe that either.

Whether anything comes of meeting up tonight or not still remains to be seen, but I guess the main thing is that we've talked and cleared the air. I'm just not sure what to make of the whole thing to be honest. Makes me think that we should have spent more time talking about it instead of everything else.

xoxo

Quiero Volver A Espana?

I got back this morning after 5 days in Ibiza.

Do you have any idea how much I miss Spain?! I LOVE speaking Spanish, not to mention the GORGEOUS old towns and most importantly, the insanely, INSANELY hot, buff men!!!

Men who LOVE women. Men who appreciate tans, curves, flirting, being outrageous and confident, banter. Men who can just dance with women and have a good time. Men who aren't scared to approach women and even be a little bit cheeky.

Men who have all the things that men in Japan are lacking.

It's like, so many foreign guys in Japan have yellow fever. I can't stand that hating on foreign girls thing that so many foreigners in Japan have. Let me tell you something boys - LBH.

Know what that means?

LOSERS BACK HOME.

THAT is why you are hating on foreign girls so much!! LOL!! The amount of guys that just get an attitude oout in Japan is crazy.

Unlike the sexy Spaniards - their attitude is justified but incredible golden skin, washboard stomachs, sexy backs, shoulders and strong thighs.

Mmmmm mmmmmm. LOL!

I always think I wanna move somewhere else when I visit a different country but I've already lived in Spain and it was this trip to Ibiza that made me realise that I would actually love to go back and spend more time there. We had a wicked time - it was really interesting to see the two sides to Ibiza. More on that tomorrow though - I'm way too knackered for that know.

xoxo

Nom Nom Nom!

OMG it's so nice to be surrounded by such awesome food.

Everytime I meet friends, it's been for lunch, dinner or coffee, meaning that I get to hit up new restaurants every day. I love how much there is out there now and all the offers that are now available. My friend showed me this card yesterday - I can't remember what it's called but you pay £30 a year and you get all meals for half price or 2 for 1! And so many restaurants are participating! I can't believe what a great deal that is! I stuffed my face at lunch today and the entire bill was barely over £15! What a bargain!!!

I've managed to see a good number of my friends so far. Rushing around all over different parts of London but it's been totally worth it just so that I can make sure I see the people I wanna see and then save the last few days for family.

Plus.....

....I'M GOING TO IBIZA ON SUNDAY!!!!

Super excited to get some sun and some hardcore partying in! You know me - itchy feet - 3 weeks just in the UK is too long for me and since I'm in Europe, then why not take a littel trip!

xoxo

Nearly A Week

Wow - what a blinding weekend!!!

I don't know why I was surprised to see engineering work STILL going on on the tube when I headed into central London. It's been going on for probably the best part of a decade which makes travelling around the capital at the weekend an absolute NIGHTMARE!!

Nor was it helped that this weekend was Gay Pride and after making the mistake of getting out at Oxford Circus, I wasn't allowed back in and had to walk all the way down to Tottenham Court road and do a mammoth circle on the tube lines that were actually working.

How annoying!

It was absolutely awesome catching up with friends on Saturday. Stayed central and then headed down to my girl's place in New Cross. I KNOW - words that would never have even come out of my mouth years ago! I'm not gonna lie - I went with extreme caution. I mean, my friend was shot there about 6 years ago and it's just been one of those areas that you just don't go anyway near. But, my friend told me that she lives super close to the station right on the main road so I figured it would be OK. Actually it wasn't anything like I thought it was gonna be - super busy and not a threatening soul in sight! HAHA! Doesn't mean that I'm gonna be making it down there regularly but at least I can put a couple of stereotypes to rest! Hit up some clubs and bars in Hoxton - haven't been there in years and it's always been a cool area to hang out and get some trance. Suitably rat arsed we stumbled in a cab at some stupid time in the morning and had a lazy Sunday watching Wimbledon.

OMG my heart goes out to Rafa!!!!! I was literally so GUTTED for him but there's no denying that Djokovic played an absolutely stunning game. I just assumed that it would hit 5 sets and be a little closer instead of the absolute thrashing that Rafa got in the second set. WOW!

Planning on booking a holiday to Ibiza today - kinda looking forward to some hardcore partying and pool lounging!! Completely forgot how cheap these packages are to Europe - there are some ridiculously cheap ones but I don't wanna be staying on the doorstep of a nightclub with a loada kids, so it's definitely worth paying a little more and moving a little further out.

Right, I'm off to the dentist!

xoxo

Enough Already

Yep - I think a 2 day dose in the Shire is more than enough.

Too much faffing on my parents' part and too many people telling me that my accent has changed. Apparently it's become more neutral and has more of an American twang to it now.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!

I've always worked hard to keep hold of my London accent but alas, after 4 years it looks like it's fading away from me. When I was on the phone to my American friend last night she told me that she could have been talking to one of her American friends! And then when I was in the optician today, the receptionist who I have known since before I can even remember, told me that my accent was different.

Oh well.

Headed into Westfield today. I was totally ready to shop til I drop and had the money to as well, but there was nothing to buy! I couldn't believe how much crap there was in the shops! And another annoying thing - the Louis Vuitton bag that I bought in Tokyo was about 150 quid cheaper over here!!! That was definitely a shock, let me tell ya! I don't know if it's because I'm still really feeling the jet lag that I couldn't really be bothered to look that hard or whether there really was nothing to buy. I'm looking forward to hitting the London shopping streets next week - hopefully I'll have more luck there!

So, so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. But it's not even 9 o'clock and there's no way that I could even try and sleep now.

xoxo