Just Give It A Chance!!

Argh!!!

Men are so frustrating.

No, I'm not talking about anyone who has come onto the scene recently.

Over the years, there have been 3 guys that I would have potentially married.

Apart from the fact that we all live in completely different parts of the world, it boils down to the fact that they were too scared to just give it a go.

But the thing is, this latter fact I've only been finding out recently. 

K so there was someone here who became one of my best friends. I adore him, I love everything about him and we got on insanely well. But that was it - we were good friends and I always thought that he wanted to keep it that way so that we wouldn't wreck what we had.

And I accepted that - in fact, I was kinda glad because at the end of the day, with this particular guy, I would definitely rather have a lifelong friendship than a failed relationship. 

So today I found out that that same guy is having a kid next year. I'm truly so, so happy for him because I know he really wants kids and he is going to be just the most amazing father. I know he is because he is such an amazing person.

But then when we were talking today, he revealed that the reason him and I never happened was because he felt that he would always want more and he didn't wanna get screwed over by me. I was one of the guys and I always thought that that's how it wanted to keep it. I had no idea that he felt the way that I had for all the years that I had known him. Not a clue.

The same reason another guy I met when I was 20 wouldn't have a relationship with me - he said that he didn't wanna fall for me and then get hurt.

Looking back at how I was then, I can see how they would've been wary - I've grown up a lot since then, but at the same time, it's frustrating because we'll never know how it would've worked out.

Hearing that same thing again today - it hurt me a little bit because I know how I felt about this guy at the time and now knowing that he felt the same way and chose not to give us a chance - it's so...arrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!! It's all good though, because I still have him in my life and I can't wait until the day comes around when I can see him again. I adore him - always have, always will.

A very, very special guy. These two both are.

xoxo