Lies, Lies, Lies

I was talking to my friend last night about lies. And trust.

Personally, trust is a very difficult thing for me. I guess I was brought up to always be suspicious of people. If you don't give someone all your trust then it can't hurt as much if you get let down. So no one has ever had 100% of my trust. And probably never will. It's a defense mechanism.

I don't like being lied to. There is a difference between lying and not telling the whole truth. I'm talking about when you ask someone something outright and they LIE to you. It's those kind of lies which I find offensive and feel hurt when someone lies to me. Hurt and sad that that person could not tell me the truth. But that only applies when the lie that that person told actually affects me personally.

Let me be a bit clearer. My friend looked me in the eye and lied about something. To be honest, if I was in that person's situation I would have lied too. But I didn't feel upset that that person couldn't tell me the truth because it doesn't affect me personally. When I asked that person why they felt that they had to lie to me, they did admit that it was because of the circumstance, but then also correctly pointed out that I don't tell that person everything, so why should they tell me everything? A very fair and valid point.

Hmmmm......when you see that someone lies to you, for me they automatically lose their right to your trust. Whether you choose to trust that person is an entirely personal decision.

But my friend and I agreed that there definitely are things that you SHOULD lie about. No one can be (or shouldn't be) honest about EVERYTHING 100% of the time. Sometimes those little white lies can actually prevent a situation from happening or getting worse. For example, we said that in a relationship, you should never reveal the true number of people that you have slept with. That way you can prevent feelings of jealousy, insecurity and all that crap. No matter what that true number is, always say somewhere between 5-10. That's a nice respectable number. No one wants to know how many times their man/girl has been around the block.

So you see, sometimes you have to lie. Sometimes you should lie. But the majority of the time you shouldn't FEEL that you have to lie. Plus lies always come back to bite you in the arse!

You have been warned!

xx