Stagnation

I am so jealous of people that just have stuff fall into their lap.

Don't get me wrong - I am not scared of hard work. I've worked my arse off for everything that I have, but just for once, I wish I wouldn't have to work so hard for absolutely EVERYTHING.

I found out today....well, I didn't find out but I've made a very educated guess....that the only thing that I love about my job could very well (and probably will) be taken away from me.

Training.

You KNOW I love training. I love presentations, I love helping people develop, I love being part of people's success and being able to learn from them at the same time.

Why does it feel that the desire to develop is such a big problem for other people?! I don't get it! Employers should be happy that they have staff who are always looking to improve their skills. I am by no means at the top of my game...I want to be, but every time I try, all that seems to happen is that I get a big, fat, heavy boot slammed in my face.

Someone please explain the logic in that?!

So apart from having to work my arse off my whole life to prove that I CAN do stuff and I do have the INTELLIGENCE to do stuff, I now seem to have to work even harder for the right to develop.

It makes absolutely no sense to me.

No sense at all.

I feel like I have stagnated. And that wouldn't be a problem if I was already at the top, if I already knew everything that there was to know, but I'm not at the top and I DON'T know everything that there is to know. So that makes this essentially one of the worst positions to be in. Stuck before I've even reached my full potential.

Why can't people see that? And why does it feel like people are trying to stop me from getting there?

Is it really too much just to ask for a chance?!

I don't understand.

At all.

xoxo