How Stupid Do You Think I Am?!

I think I need to make a sixth resolution.

Stop letting guys who don't deserve me "have" me.

I don't need to translate right? Good.

So I kinda got involved with someone who I had a nice, convenient - although not really that regular - "arrangement" with. The guy is not the kinda guy you would think I would go for - he's arrogant, selfish and just doesn't give a s****.

What the hell am I doing?! Yah I know....but I think it's the fact that he's not falling over himself to see me. He's not telling me how fabulous I am....in fact, I'd be hard pressed to get a compliment from him. For some bizarre reason, these things are keeping me interested.

But I've just come to realise that it really is all bulls***. I mean, sure, we might be using each other but it's not regular enough to have any point to it. He sends me nice enough replies to all my emails but I can tell that it's only to keep me sweet - to keep me THERE so that he doesn't burn any bridges. I can't slate him for that - I was doing the exact same thing - but I think I've (literally) just decided that it's not even worth it for how infrequently I actually get to see him. Seriously - we're talking, like, once every couple of months - 6 weeks at best. What's the point?!?! And how stupid does he think I am not to see through those messages!?

I saw a flicker of that arrogant 20 year old Jade come out in my attitude when I started thinking that he should be feeling damn well privileged to be even in my sights!!!! Nah, don't worry - I quickly suppressed those thoughts. I don't need to be carrying on like that at my age! HAHAHA! But yah - think I should just let this one go - it's going nowhere, I'd NEVER date the guy so I may as well cut my losses.

It's not like me to blog on such a deep level about something so personal but I had to get it out!! It hasn't been bugging me per se, but it's definitely been lingering in the back of my mind. Guess it can go away now that I've written it down. And what's a blog for if not to vent, right?!

I'm a nice girl and I deserve so much more!!

He's way too selfish.

I'm done.

xoxo