I went to Yokohama this weekend...and LOVED it!!
Why? Because of Cosmo World - a theme park type thing.
I love rides. I always have done. And I love arcades. For a few hours it doesn't matter that you're getting as excited as a kid to go on roller coasters.
Theme parks are always a winner for me!!
I'm so sad it had to end. And I badly don't want to go back to school. The fact that I'm still saying goodbye to people over and over again is also making me hurt. You think you may be finally getting over it...and then the time comes to say goodbye once more.
:-(((
Sunday 31 August 2008
Thursday 28 August 2008
R.I.P
My car has died :-(
I knew it had problems. They've been kinda building up over the last few months. So I finally took the car to the garage today and they told me the repairs would cost 450quid. Seeing as the car only cost 650, it was agreed it wasn't worth it.
So I had to buy a new one.
But I learnt my lesson about buying a cheap car. It was 9 years old and had like 132,000km on the clock when I bought it. When I took it in today it had over 139,000.
I decided it was worth spending a little bit more. My new car is still old. It's 8 years old but only has 60,000km on the clock. And it cost little over a grand. Not that bad really when you think of car prices back home.
So I came home in a new car. Which has bankrupted me this month and next month. Nice of the guy to let me pay in 3 installments though. And the new car is still a yellow plate but is bigger than the old one and drives so smoothly!!
And at least I won't be burning my ass on the leather seats anymore!! Although I will miss my old car. It was so cute and full of character :-(
R.I.P to my little Daihatsu Opti Classic
xx
Thinking about you London peeps!
Over the last couple of days I've been thinking about London friends...
....I MISS YOU ALL!!!
Especially some of the people that I worked with. Getting through the working day by making frequent trips to M&S, cafes and anywhere to get out the office for a little bit!!
Sure, it sucked at times but I really did enjoy it. And that was mainly because of the people I was working with. They made my time there what it was and I thank them all for that!!
Plus I've never had the chance to work with so many weird people before! It was really interesting to watch people come and go and I had some wicked nights out with those people. Even though I haven't had regular contact with them, I know that they are lifelong friends!!
And I have never heard someone swear as much as Tim!!
Miss ya lovey!!
xxx
....I MISS YOU ALL!!!
Especially some of the people that I worked with. Getting through the working day by making frequent trips to M&S, cafes and anywhere to get out the office for a little bit!!
Sure, it sucked at times but I really did enjoy it. And that was mainly because of the people I was working with. They made my time there what it was and I thank them all for that!!
Plus I've never had the chance to work with so many weird people before! It was really interesting to watch people come and go and I had some wicked nights out with those people. Even though I haven't had regular contact with them, I know that they are lifelong friends!!
And I have never heard someone swear as much as Tim!!
Miss ya lovey!!
xxx
Wednesday 27 August 2008
Why......
.....am I absolutely knackered?!
I didn't even go to bed late last night and I'm absolutely exhausted today. I came home and couldn't be arsed to do any of the enormous amount of housework that's slowly building up and making my house disgusting!!
3 hours and a couple of episodes of House later, I'm more tired than ever!!
I was supposed to go into Fukuoka tonight but I can't be arsed. Even though there is a few people I need to catch up with. Oh, and it's raining. That in itself is enough to make me want to stay at home.
I wonder if it's emotional drain finally catching up with me? But surely that would've happened ages ago?!
I can't stay in bed all day.......well, yeh I can
;-)
I didn't even go to bed late last night and I'm absolutely exhausted today. I came home and couldn't be arsed to do any of the enormous amount of housework that's slowly building up and making my house disgusting!!
3 hours and a couple of episodes of House later, I'm more tired than ever!!
I was supposed to go into Fukuoka tonight but I can't be arsed. Even though there is a few people I need to catch up with. Oh, and it's raining. That in itself is enough to make me want to stay at home.
I wonder if it's emotional drain finally catching up with me? But surely that would've happened ages ago?!
I can't stay in bed all day.......well, yeh I can
;-)
Tuesday 26 August 2008
Why isn't it Friday yet?!?!?!?!
i can't believe it's only Tuesday..Tuesday!!!!
WHY CAN'T IT BE FRIDAY ALREADY?!?!
Hurry up!!!!
THE WAIT IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY CAN'T IT BE FRIDAY ALREADY?!?!
Hurry up!!!!
THE WAIT IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is with these people?!
The student loans people do my nut.
What the hell is their deal anyway?!!!!!
Last year they deduced from my salary that I should be making repayments of £1.72 a month.
Like that's gonna make a dent.
Then I has to send them another form to account for the next 12 months...my salary is exactly the same but the next 12 months I have to make repayments of 5 quid a month.
The difference is bound to be due to the insane fluctuations in the £-YEN exchange rates. Whatever - paying back a fiver a month doesn't bother me.
What does fuck me off however, is the fact that they ask for these dumb ass repayments that don't even make a nick in the INTEREST that I'm paying every month on this loan. A whopping 50 quid a month has taken the total that i owe to over 20 grand.
I DIDN'T EVEN BORROW THAT MUCH!!!!!!
And these repayments don't even come within a fraction of making a difference. A tenth of the interest. That's what I'm repaying every month. Fools. Well, looks like I won't have paid that off by the time I'm 65 so the slate gets wiped clean.
Of course I could use the money that I'm earning to make extra repayments..
HELL NO!! That money is buying me a damn house!!! Who in their right mind would choose paying off their loan rather than buying a house?!
These things should be interest free dammit. You get an education and you have to pay for it for the rest of your life.
Me thinks not!
What the hell is their deal anyway?!!!!!
Last year they deduced from my salary that I should be making repayments of £1.72 a month.
Like that's gonna make a dent.
Then I has to send them another form to account for the next 12 months...my salary is exactly the same but the next 12 months I have to make repayments of 5 quid a month.
The difference is bound to be due to the insane fluctuations in the £-YEN exchange rates. Whatever - paying back a fiver a month doesn't bother me.
What does fuck me off however, is the fact that they ask for these dumb ass repayments that don't even make a nick in the INTEREST that I'm paying every month on this loan. A whopping 50 quid a month has taken the total that i owe to over 20 grand.
I DIDN'T EVEN BORROW THAT MUCH!!!!!!
And these repayments don't even come within a fraction of making a difference. A tenth of the interest. That's what I'm repaying every month. Fools. Well, looks like I won't have paid that off by the time I'm 65 so the slate gets wiped clean.
Of course I could use the money that I'm earning to make extra repayments..
HELL NO!! That money is buying me a damn house!!! Who in their right mind would choose paying off their loan rather than buying a house?!
These things should be interest free dammit. You get an education and you have to pay for it for the rest of your life.
Me thinks not!
Monday 25 August 2008
Feeling the absence of Absent Friends
I wrote an entry about absent friends a little while ago.
This is a kind of follow up to that really.
I was just wondering how long it takes to actually get over the fact that your friends have left?
And I'm talking about REAL friends that you've made - not the false friendships that we all experience here. Those false friendships I got over in....well I didn't even have to get over them. That's how false they were.
But I'm still really feeling the absence of people who have left. But I've literally just looked at the calendar and these people have only been gone for a matter of weeks - nearly 3 actually.
IS THAT IT?! It feels like a lifetime. Everything feels like it has changed. Especially since a lot of the people who have left haven't been replaced. So the same people are here - there's a limit to finding your replacements.
In short, you can't. You're reluctant to replace with the people you knew before because if you wanted them to fulfill a certain role in your life - well, wouldn't they have been doing that already? It just feels strange. And different. And to be honest, I don't particularly like it. The people who left were such a big part of my life here in Japan.
But I also know that eventually this will get easier. I wish that bit would hurry up though. How long does it take? Or do you never really get over these people?
*sigh*
This is a kind of follow up to that really.
I was just wondering how long it takes to actually get over the fact that your friends have left?
And I'm talking about REAL friends that you've made - not the false friendships that we all experience here. Those false friendships I got over in....well I didn't even have to get over them. That's how false they were.
But I'm still really feeling the absence of people who have left. But I've literally just looked at the calendar and these people have only been gone for a matter of weeks - nearly 3 actually.
IS THAT IT?! It feels like a lifetime. Everything feels like it has changed. Especially since a lot of the people who have left haven't been replaced. So the same people are here - there's a limit to finding your replacements.
In short, you can't. You're reluctant to replace with the people you knew before because if you wanted them to fulfill a certain role in your life - well, wouldn't they have been doing that already? It just feels strange. And different. And to be honest, I don't particularly like it. The people who left were such a big part of my life here in Japan.
But I also know that eventually this will get easier. I wish that bit would hurry up though. How long does it take? Or do you never really get over these people?
*sigh*
Japan - Tell the Truth!!
One of the things that I despise about Japanese people is their inability to just tell you the straight honest truth.
I had my work evaluation today. Each school had to make me on a series of aspects - the highest you could score for each was 3.
I was shocked to see I scored the highest at my middle school. The school I hate working at the most. Absolutely GLOWING comments, I feel a lil bit guilty about hating it so much. Or maybe I'm just an amazing actress.
But the schock came with one of the schools where I adore the kids the most. Not keen on the teachers but I really enjoy this school. For 'Appropriate Behaviour and Punctuality' I got scored a 1. At the other 4 schools I got a 3. Now, when a score for a pretty important aspect is so low, you would expect to see a reason in the comments box.
But oh no....
All that was written there was 'Jade is one of the most pleasurable ALTs we have worked with. The students are eager and her classes are fun. She is competent and professional and tries her hardest to communicate in Japanese and uses simple English which is easy for everyone to understand. We are very satisfied with her work'.
No mention of inappropriate behaviour!! The scored and the comments are completely contradictory!! I showed it to my supervisor and being the cutie she is, she suggested it may have been a typing error since I scored the maximum from the other schools in that area.
The even more incredulous thing about this is THEY WEREN'T EVEN PREPARED TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!! You get given an evaluation and that's it!! Unlucky for them.......me being the confrontational person I am...I've demanded a meeting with the teachers at the school so that can explain their scores.
Even more unlucky for them is this is the school where I have the most problems with the teacher....I've asked them to have meetings so we can talk about what to teach - they tell me they don't have time and that they're happy with whatever I prepare.
I've complained 3 times about being left in the classroom on my own - every time a kind has been hurt and I sprained my wrist once.
The teacher who is supposed to teach with me has not been in that class for 14 weeks...to be replaced with the deputy head who sits at the desk and sleeps.
I am REALLY looking forward to this meeting. Think they may have been rating themselves on inappropriate behaviour ;-)
I'm gonna rip them apart!
MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I had my work evaluation today. Each school had to make me on a series of aspects - the highest you could score for each was 3.
I was shocked to see I scored the highest at my middle school. The school I hate working at the most. Absolutely GLOWING comments, I feel a lil bit guilty about hating it so much. Or maybe I'm just an amazing actress.
But the schock came with one of the schools where I adore the kids the most. Not keen on the teachers but I really enjoy this school. For 'Appropriate Behaviour and Punctuality' I got scored a 1. At the other 4 schools I got a 3. Now, when a score for a pretty important aspect is so low, you would expect to see a reason in the comments box.
But oh no....
All that was written there was 'Jade is one of the most pleasurable ALTs we have worked with. The students are eager and her classes are fun. She is competent and professional and tries her hardest to communicate in Japanese and uses simple English which is easy for everyone to understand. We are very satisfied with her work'.
No mention of inappropriate behaviour!! The scored and the comments are completely contradictory!! I showed it to my supervisor and being the cutie she is, she suggested it may have been a typing error since I scored the maximum from the other schools in that area.
The even more incredulous thing about this is THEY WEREN'T EVEN PREPARED TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!! You get given an evaluation and that's it!! Unlucky for them.......me being the confrontational person I am...I've demanded a meeting with the teachers at the school so that can explain their scores.
Even more unlucky for them is this is the school where I have the most problems with the teacher....I've asked them to have meetings so we can talk about what to teach - they tell me they don't have time and that they're happy with whatever I prepare.
I've complained 3 times about being left in the classroom on my own - every time a kind has been hurt and I sprained my wrist once.
The teacher who is supposed to teach with me has not been in that class for 14 weeks...to be replaced with the deputy head who sits at the desk and sleeps.
I am REALLY looking forward to this meeting. Think they may have been rating themselves on inappropriate behaviour ;-)
I'm gonna rip them apart!
MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Sunday 24 August 2008
Canal City
I really like hanging out here and today was no exception!!
Good whether, nice restaurants, live music and good company all make for a good Sunday!
And them aimlessly wandering around Tenjin and hitting up izakayas proves for an even better Sunday evening!
So don't wanna go back to work tomorrow :(( Can't they just pay me to study Japanese instead?!
Oh yeh, they do!!!
xx
Good whether, nice restaurants, live music and good company all make for a good Sunday!
And them aimlessly wandering around Tenjin and hitting up izakayas proves for an even better Sunday evening!
So don't wanna go back to work tomorrow :(( Can't they just pay me to study Japanese instead?!
Oh yeh, they do!!!
xx
Saturday 23 August 2008
もううううううううううー
I was debating for HOURS whether to go out tonight.
And then I decided I just couldn't do it. And neither could the people I was planning on going out with. I could've done one of 2 things.
1) I could have driven into town.
2) Got the bus in and take the last train back.
Both options suck. Obviously if I was to drive in, then I wouldn't be able to drink. Which isn't really THAT big of a deal becasue I've done it loads of times before. What it is is how much that would set me back in tolls because I would be driving in alone. It's like over 1000yen one way, and then there's petrol. Oh and the fact that my car would probably break down on the way there. Not an attractive option.
And the obvious prob with the second option is that the last train is at like 11.30 or something. So you have to leave while the night is still young. Also not another appealing fact.
And I guess I left out the 3rd option of doing another all nighter.......the first bus back in the morning is at 8am. By the time you get back you feel so rough I can't stand it. The first train is at like 5.30am. Which would be absolutely fine if it didn't involve switching twice. Unless you have someone there to wake you up at those transfer points, then I know I would sleep right through them and end up in some godforsaken unknown place.
So I decided to stay in. Just me and several episodes of House.
And I still have a headache.
:-(
And then I decided I just couldn't do it. And neither could the people I was planning on going out with. I could've done one of 2 things.
1) I could have driven into town.
2) Got the bus in and take the last train back.
Both options suck. Obviously if I was to drive in, then I wouldn't be able to drink. Which isn't really THAT big of a deal becasue I've done it loads of times before. What it is is how much that would set me back in tolls because I would be driving in alone. It's like over 1000yen one way, and then there's petrol. Oh and the fact that my car would probably break down on the way there. Not an attractive option.
And the obvious prob with the second option is that the last train is at like 11.30 or something. So you have to leave while the night is still young. Also not another appealing fact.
And I guess I left out the 3rd option of doing another all nighter.......the first bus back in the morning is at 8am. By the time you get back you feel so rough I can't stand it. The first train is at like 5.30am. Which would be absolutely fine if it didn't involve switching twice. Unless you have someone there to wake you up at those transfer points, then I know I would sleep right through them and end up in some godforsaken unknown place.
So I decided to stay in. Just me and several episodes of House.
And I still have a headache.
:-(
SSSSSSHHHHHHHHH
I have a horrible headache!!!!
i was out til late on Thursday and then pulled a fabulous all nighter last night that resulted in me getting in at 9am this morning.
OUCH
Met a lot of amusing people though. And caught up with people that I haven't seen for a little while. I can't actually remember the last Friday night I had out in Fukuoka. It's normally a Saturday....
But a 1000yen nomihoudai is just too irresistable to pass up on!!
I can't even believe I'm seriously considering going out again tonight!!
Crazy!!
i was out til late on Thursday and then pulled a fabulous all nighter last night that resulted in me getting in at 9am this morning.
OUCH
Met a lot of amusing people though. And caught up with people that I haven't seen for a little while. I can't actually remember the last Friday night I had out in Fukuoka. It's normally a Saturday....
But a 1000yen nomihoudai is just too irresistable to pass up on!!
I can't even believe I'm seriously considering going out again tonight!!
Crazy!!
Wednesday 20 August 2008
Bolt is a Legend
DID YOU JUST SEE THAT 200M?!?!
No one was even CLOSE!!! And another WR!! Usain Bolt is a legend!!
All that cocky shit annoys me. But he has every right to be cocky. I mean LOOK at him?! 100 and 200m gold medals and world records. I just can't believe how easily he won!!
And did you see Michael Johnson's face?! Even he looked impressed!!
That was truly amazing!!
No one was even CLOSE!!! And another WR!! Usain Bolt is a legend!!
All that cocky shit annoys me. But he has every right to be cocky. I mean LOOK at him?! 100 and 200m gold medals and world records. I just can't believe how easily he won!!
And did you see Michael Johnson's face?! Even he looked impressed!!
That was truly amazing!!
Synchronized Swimming
OK I might be totally alone here but does anyone else get even mildy amused watching synchronized swimming??!!
I love watching it. But at the same time I find myself in little fits of giggles. Maybe it's the way the pointy toes come bursting out the water to this dramatic classical music or something.
But I also find myself laughing.
Anyone else do that?
I love watching it. But at the same time I find myself in little fits of giggles. Maybe it's the way the pointy toes come bursting out the water to this dramatic classical music or something.
But I also find myself laughing.
Anyone else do that?
Dirty Old Git
Something always seems to be happening at the bus stop this week.
So I'm sitting there waiting for the bus and this old man walks past me. I move my bag to let him sit down but he declines. Not before having a good gawk at my cleavage. Perv.
Then he starts fiddling his belt. Didn't think anything of it - men seem to be adjusting themselves all the time!! But then I noticed he's undone his belt and the button and fly of his trousers and is rooting around dramatically to tuck his shirt in! EEEEUUUUUUWWWWW!!!
Now I know if you need to tuck your shirt in it's prob easier that way but SERIOUSLY!! There's a time and a place!!
And at this point I would like to stress that it's not a bus stop per se.....more of a post stuck to the side of the road. And there is no pavement. I would hate to think what the people driving by would've seen. I'm glad he didn't turn around. Because no doubt about it I would've seen his 'crown jewels'. As my friend would say.
He thought it was hilarious!! I thought it was disgusting!! I've had students who just undo their trousers in class as well. I'm like you can't wait?!
So gross!!
So I'm sitting there waiting for the bus and this old man walks past me. I move my bag to let him sit down but he declines. Not before having a good gawk at my cleavage. Perv.
Then he starts fiddling his belt. Didn't think anything of it - men seem to be adjusting themselves all the time!! But then I noticed he's undone his belt and the button and fly of his trousers and is rooting around dramatically to tuck his shirt in! EEEEUUUUUUWWWWW!!!
Now I know if you need to tuck your shirt in it's prob easier that way but SERIOUSLY!! There's a time and a place!!
And at this point I would like to stress that it's not a bus stop per se.....more of a post stuck to the side of the road. And there is no pavement. I would hate to think what the people driving by would've seen. I'm glad he didn't turn around. Because no doubt about it I would've seen his 'crown jewels'. As my friend would say.
He thought it was hilarious!! I thought it was disgusting!! I've had students who just undo their trousers in class as well. I'm like you can't wait?!
So gross!!
Tuesday 19 August 2008
You Go Girl!!!
Did you see the final of the women's 400m?!
Typical of Sanya Richards to go off too fast. She's done that in all of her heats. It was all going good until the home straight. Britain's Christine Ohuruogu was back in like 5th or 6th place and then just snuck through with 50m to go to take the gold medal!!
And the best bit of it is her reaction! She just couldn't believe it and then broke out in a mammoth grin to rival mine! It was so endearing! I felt so happy for her!!
And felt so sorry for Lola Jones in the 100m hurdles final. She was a dead cert to take gold and then went and tripped on a hurdle allowing everyone to overtake her and leaving her without a medal. Poor girl. And it showed all over her face!! She was so angry with herself and it's not surprising. Just like the Swede in the semi final who was also a dead cert for a medal tripped at the first hurdle and didn't even finish the race.
I feel so sorry for these girls because they spend so long training for this. Of course there are other championships but the Olympics is the one everyone wants to win. And then they go and trip. They must be kicking themselves!!!
But so pleased for Christine!! you go girl - it was a great race!!
Typical of Sanya Richards to go off too fast. She's done that in all of her heats. It was all going good until the home straight. Britain's Christine Ohuruogu was back in like 5th or 6th place and then just snuck through with 50m to go to take the gold medal!!
And the best bit of it is her reaction! She just couldn't believe it and then broke out in a mammoth grin to rival mine! It was so endearing! I felt so happy for her!!
And felt so sorry for Lola Jones in the 100m hurdles final. She was a dead cert to take gold and then went and tripped on a hurdle allowing everyone to overtake her and leaving her without a medal. Poor girl. And it showed all over her face!! She was so angry with herself and it's not surprising. Just like the Swede in the semi final who was also a dead cert for a medal tripped at the first hurdle and didn't even finish the race.
I feel so sorry for these girls because they spend so long training for this. Of course there are other championships but the Olympics is the one everyone wants to win. And then they go and trip. They must be kicking themselves!!!
But so pleased for Christine!! you go girl - it was a great race!!
Cute Lil Kids
I was waiting at the bus stop today and I saw a little girl in a house across the street. I was there with a friend and she started waving at us and we were waving back.
She can't have been older than 4/5 and was absolutely adorable.
When the bus came I was about to get on when I saw the little girl running across the road holding her grandmother's hand and shouting お姉さん、お姉さん！
It literally means older sister but is used generally when you're referring to a young woman. So I turned around and the little girl held out a little bag with 2 cartons of juice in it!!
How cute is that!!!!
Shame it was vegetable juice though. I despise that stuff.
She can't have been older than 4/5 and was absolutely adorable.
When the bus came I was about to get on when I saw the little girl running across the road holding her grandmother's hand and shouting お姉さん、お姉さん！
It literally means older sister but is used generally when you're referring to a young woman. So I turned around and the little girl held out a little bag with 2 cartons of juice in it!!
How cute is that!!!!
Shame it was vegetable juice though. I despise that stuff.
Feel Good Factors!
Today one of my Japanese friends told me that my Japanese was すごいうまい and that the message I wrote her could have been written by a Japanese person.
It is so nice to hear stuff like that. Especially since I have been studying really hard during this course I'm doing. OK, well not that hard, but I have been picking up a lot of new phrases and grammatical points which already I've found myself using.
Good stuff.
:-)
It is so nice to hear stuff like that. Especially since I have been studying really hard during this course I'm doing. OK, well not that hard, but I have been picking up a lot of new phrases and grammatical points which already I've found myself using.
Good stuff.
:-)
Scary Dreams
I had a really weird dream last night. And in the space of getting up and having a shower, I've forgotten it!!!!!
LOL!!!!
I know it had something to do with me coming on...nice huh? Think I might leave it right there!!
Although, speaking of that particularly unpleasant topic, I decided this month that I didn't want to come on and took two packets of the pill back to back.
Not sure I'll be doing that again! My boobs are soooooo HEAVY!!!
LOL!!! Nice thoughts for a Tuesday morning!!
xx
LOL!!!!
I know it had something to do with me coming on...nice huh? Think I might leave it right there!!
Although, speaking of that particularly unpleasant topic, I decided this month that I didn't want to come on and took two packets of the pill back to back.
Not sure I'll be doing that again! My boobs are soooooo HEAVY!!!
LOL!!! Nice thoughts for a Tuesday morning!!
xx
Monday 18 August 2008
HUH?!?!?!
Did China always do so well in the Olympics?!
With a whopping 37 gold medals they are at the top of the medal table. Incredible. I've never even paid attention to China's efforts in previous Olympic years.
And I am so proud to see Great Britain move from 10th to 3rd place with 12 gold medals. Sailing, swimming and archery (??) always seem to be the stronger events for us. Our athletes aren't what they once were.
I used to love watching Colin Jackson, Sally Gunnel and Jonathan Edwards. No Brits qualified for the 200m final. Which made me sad. There just seems to be no potential medal athletes anymore. Jamaicans and Amercians are still dominating the track.
イギリス頑張れ！！！！
With a whopping 37 gold medals they are at the top of the medal table. Incredible. I've never even paid attention to China's efforts in previous Olympic years.
And I am so proud to see Great Britain move from 10th to 3rd place with 12 gold medals. Sailing, swimming and archery (??) always seem to be the stronger events for us. Our athletes aren't what they once were.
I used to love watching Colin Jackson, Sally Gunnel and Jonathan Edwards. No Brits qualified for the 200m final. Which made me sad. There just seems to be no potential medal athletes anymore. Jamaicans and Amercians are still dominating the track.
イギリス頑張れ！！！！
Weird feelings
I'm in some weird zone right now.
I just got back from my Japanese class. I feel tired, sick, sad and lazy. It's like all the emotions I've had over the last few weeks have decided to come all at once today.
But it feels weird coz I feel like I'm about to do something. Or like I should be preparing to do something. That isn't my homework. Which I also can't be arsed to do.
I think I may be a lil disturbed. I got a phone call really late last night and I don't remember the conversation. So I guess I may be worrying about what I've said to someone because I haven't heard from them all day.
Whoops.
Other than that this damn bite on my foot is driving me INSANE!! I've ripped the skin raw from scratching. And no matter what I put on it, including stuff that relieves itching, later I'm clawing away. The other bites are just starting to heal up which is a relief. Now I can start wearing skirts again!!
Think I'll leave my homework until the morning. The olympics are far more important!!
xx
I just got back from my Japanese class. I feel tired, sick, sad and lazy. It's like all the emotions I've had over the last few weeks have decided to come all at once today.
But it feels weird coz I feel like I'm about to do something. Or like I should be preparing to do something. That isn't my homework. Which I also can't be arsed to do.
I think I may be a lil disturbed. I got a phone call really late last night and I don't remember the conversation. So I guess I may be worrying about what I've said to someone because I haven't heard from them all day.
Whoops.
Other than that this damn bite on my foot is driving me INSANE!! I've ripped the skin raw from scratching. And no matter what I put on it, including stuff that relieves itching, later I'm clawing away. The other bites are just starting to heal up which is a relief. Now I can start wearing skirts again!!
Think I'll leave my homework until the morning. The olympics are far more important!!
xx
Here we go again....
.....back to the land of can't be arsedness.
It's weird coz for the last week I've had to get up at 6.45 to go to Japanese classes. This week they're in the afternoon so I have free mornings.
And I'm still doing nothing!!!
In a way I preferred the morning classes. Even though I was always knackered. Because then your day is over with early and then you can relax and do.....nothing. This week I'm not gonna finish until 5.30 and then there's gonna be the commute home. In rush hour - it's gonna be a nightmare!! Probably not gonna be getting home until 8ish now.
*sigh*
I thought I was being clever wearing jeans on Saturday...but I've still got a massive bite on my foot. That kept me up last night as well. So damn ITCHY!!
arrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!
It's weird coz for the last week I've had to get up at 6.45 to go to Japanese classes. This week they're in the afternoon so I have free mornings.
And I'm still doing nothing!!!
In a way I preferred the morning classes. Even though I was always knackered. Because then your day is over with early and then you can relax and do.....nothing. This week I'm not gonna finish until 5.30 and then there's gonna be the commute home. In rush hour - it's gonna be a nightmare!! Probably not gonna be getting home until 8ish now.
*sigh*
I thought I was being clever wearing jeans on Saturday...but I've still got a massive bite on my foot. That kept me up last night as well. So damn ITCHY!!
arrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Sunday 17 August 2008
Olympic champion in the making
Everytime I watch the Olympics or the World or Indoor Championships, I always vow to take up athletics and gymnastics again.
I was such a good athlete. I honestly believe that if I had kept it up, I would be representing my country in the Olympics.
SERIOUSLY!!!!!!
I loved gymnastics too. I think I gave that up by the time I was 12 though. Still adore watching it.
Yet every time I see either of these events, I get those familiar pangs of regret at giving them up so quickly.
Ooooh, the hurdles are starting now! I'm off!!
xx
I was such a good athlete. I honestly believe that if I had kept it up, I would be representing my country in the Olympics.
SERIOUSLY!!!!!!
I loved gymnastics too. I think I gave that up by the time I was 12 though. Still adore watching it.
Yet every time I see either of these events, I get those familiar pangs of regret at giving them up so quickly.
Ooooh, the hurdles are starting now! I'm off!!
xx
Hmmmm...now what??
I am at a complete loss for something to do!!
The only Olympic events that they're showing on TV at the moment are...actually it's just table tennis.
YAWN!!! Very disappointed with Paula Radcliffe's performance in the marathon though....
I could clean my kitchen...I have loads of stuff from other people that needs to be cleaned and put away....
Or I could study Japanese.........
But again I can't be arsed to do any of those useful things. Instead I'm snacking on garlic butter croutons and moving from the sofa to the bed.
The weather's not fab either so I can't even go and chill on the beach and get me a nice lil tan :-(
I could work out...but I'm too lazy.
Lazy Sundays.
好き！！
The only Olympic events that they're showing on TV at the moment are...actually it's just table tennis.
YAWN!!! Very disappointed with Paula Radcliffe's performance in the marathon though....
I could clean my kitchen...I have loads of stuff from other people that needs to be cleaned and put away....
Or I could study Japanese.........
But again I can't be arsed to do any of those useful things. Instead I'm snacking on garlic butter croutons and moving from the sofa to the bed.
The weather's not fab either so I can't even go and chill on the beach and get me a nice lil tan :-(
I could work out...but I'm too lazy.
Lazy Sundays.
好き！！
World Records
How insane is this year's Olympics?!
I have never seen so many world records broken in the Olympics before. It's amazing!!
And I feel so proud to say that a Brit was one of the record breakers!! Rebecca Ardlington smashed the world record for the 800m freestlye by a whopping 2 seconds!! And I know I don't even need to mention Phelps' achievements which just left me gawping at the TV.
And then the men's 100m WR was smashed by Usain Bolt - 9.69!!!! Poor Tyson Gay only got to hold onto that one for a couple of months. And it seemed so easy for Bolt - looked like the guy was just taking a jog!! And the fact that he was posing before the finish line - surely he can go even faster?!
And the 10000m WR was broken as well. I think...actually I can't remember!!
I love the Olympics. Although I'm not sure what happened to Britain's finest athletes this year - a lot of the big names seem to be missing!! I'll ask my friend!!
I have never seen so many world records broken in the Olympics before. It's amazing!!
And I feel so proud to say that a Brit was one of the record breakers!! Rebecca Ardlington smashed the world record for the 800m freestlye by a whopping 2 seconds!! And I know I don't even need to mention Phelps' achievements which just left me gawping at the TV.
And then the men's 100m WR was smashed by Usain Bolt - 9.69!!!! Poor Tyson Gay only got to hold onto that one for a couple of months. And it seemed so easy for Bolt - looked like the guy was just taking a jog!! And the fact that he was posing before the finish line - surely he can go even faster?!
And the 10000m WR was broken as well. I think...actually I can't remember!!
I love the Olympics. Although I'm not sure what happened to Britain's finest athletes this year - a lot of the big names seem to be missing!! I'll ask my friend!!
Restlessness
It's 2.45am on a Saturday night.
I'm not even tired.....even if I tried to sleep I don't think I could. Everything seems so surreal at the moment. Everywhere I look in my apartment there is a reminder of someone who has left.
I should've guessed inheriting everyone else's stuff would've had consequences!! No matter how good my apartment looks right now.
I think it's coz my man has been with me the last couple of days and now he's gone I want to put off going to bed. Because it feels big and empty without him. Doesn't help that I've inherited a load of his stuff as well so literally EVERYWHERE I look is a reminder of him. And that is the reminder that obviously pulls on the heart strings the most.
I know I'll be OK. I just need time to get used to people not being here. I'm not having a nervous breakdown!!!!!! Give me a month and I'm sure I'll be back to my genki ol' self again.
Well, I hope so. Being miserable totally doesn't suit me darling!!!
xx
I'm not even tired.....even if I tried to sleep I don't think I could. Everything seems so surreal at the moment. Everywhere I look in my apartment there is a reminder of someone who has left.
I should've guessed inheriting everyone else's stuff would've had consequences!! No matter how good my apartment looks right now.
I think it's coz my man has been with me the last couple of days and now he's gone I want to put off going to bed. Because it feels big and empty without him. Doesn't help that I've inherited a load of his stuff as well so literally EVERYWHERE I look is a reminder of him. And that is the reminder that obviously pulls on the heart strings the most.
I know I'll be OK. I just need time to get used to people not being here. I'm not having a nervous breakdown!!!!!! Give me a month and I'm sure I'll be back to my genki ol' self again.
Well, I hope so. Being miserable totally doesn't suit me darling!!!
xx
You Are Not Alone
I just got back from a party.
It's always great to see certain people who, because of where they live, I don't get to see so often. And it was also nice to see (in the kindest possible way) that other people are feeling the loneliness of having good friends leave. Not that I want to see other people feeling as blue as I have been, but it's good to know that other people are going through the same thing.
But then I started thinking and observing everyone else. They all have their own way of dealing with stuff. Some people are able to carry on (or at least pretend to carry on) completely as usual. Even though someone they care about has just left.
I wonder if they really are putting on a mask or whether they've just got over it....I mean, here it's easy to think you have a close friendship with someone but then when leave some people are just kinda like 'meh, oh well'. To me that makes me think that the friendship is false.
I've had a false friendship here. And I didn't even realise it was false until that person left without even saying goodbye. You feel it when a true friend leaves. And I'm not able to put on a mask and pretend that everything's OK. I need the time to actually deal with the fact that that person isn't here anymore.
But being alone at home isn't the answer. That's why I went to the party even though I really didn't want to. Being there made me realise how much I've changed in just a year. Because I came hear a year ago, it's that kinda time when you start to reflect.
And it's also made me realise how much I miss certain people that are still here. I'm definitely going to start making more of an effort with those people....you always say you'll hook up but then you go back to your own towns and then you kinda just...don't.
It's always great to see certain people who, because of where they live, I don't get to see so often. And it was also nice to see (in the kindest possible way) that other people are feeling the loneliness of having good friends leave. Not that I want to see other people feeling as blue as I have been, but it's good to know that other people are going through the same thing.
But then I started thinking and observing everyone else. They all have their own way of dealing with stuff. Some people are able to carry on (or at least pretend to carry on) completely as usual. Even though someone they care about has just left.
I wonder if they really are putting on a mask or whether they've just got over it....I mean, here it's easy to think you have a close friendship with someone but then when leave some people are just kinda like 'meh, oh well'. To me that makes me think that the friendship is false.
I've had a false friendship here. And I didn't even realise it was false until that person left without even saying goodbye. You feel it when a true friend leaves. And I'm not able to put on a mask and pretend that everything's OK. I need the time to actually deal with the fact that that person isn't here anymore.
But being alone at home isn't the answer. That's why I went to the party even though I really didn't want to. Being there made me realise how much I've changed in just a year. Because I came hear a year ago, it's that kinda time when you start to reflect.
And it's also made me realise how much I miss certain people that are still here. I'm definitely going to start making more of an effort with those people....you always say you'll hook up but then you go back to your own towns and then you kinda just...don't.
Friday 15 August 2008
Bug Bites
I have seven new ones after deciding that it would be a good idea to spend the evening of a party outside.
Nice.
Now I can't stop scratching. Like LITERALLY can't stop scratching. It's even keeping me up all night!!!
And that is not what I need when i have to get up at 6.45am the next day.
Grrrrrr
Nice.
Now I can't stop scratching. Like LITERALLY can't stop scratching. It's even keeping me up all night!!!
And that is not what I need when i have to get up at 6.45am the next day.
Grrrrrr
Thursday 14 August 2008
Sore Eyes
I decided to be a smart ass today and make tempura for dinner. Chicken and vegetable tempura.
It was all going well until it came to the onions.
And now my eyes are KILLING me!!
t's not even 10pm and I feel like I can go to sleep!! My eyes hurt that much it's hard to keep them open!!
もう！！！
It was all going well until it came to the onions.
And now my eyes are KILLING me!!
t's not even 10pm and I feel like I can go to sleep!! My eyes hurt that much it's hard to keep them open!!
もう！！！
Wednesday 13 August 2008
When you work it out too late
More goodbyes yesterday. What was even worse about one particular person is I have only just realised that they were an integral part of my life here.
Without this person I would not have settled into life in Japan's countryside. They were always willing to help me or find someone else who could. That kind of quality is so rare in people.
I feel sorry for the people who have to take this person's place. Because they will never be as good. They don't have the same kind of mentality that this person had.
On the plus side I have completely decked out my apartment with all the stuff that the leavers couldn't take with them so now it's looking NNNIIIIICCCCEEEE!!!
And I have an electric oven!!
YATTA!!
xx
Without this person I would not have settled into life in Japan's countryside. They were always willing to help me or find someone else who could. That kind of quality is so rare in people.
I feel sorry for the people who have to take this person's place. Because they will never be as good. They don't have the same kind of mentality that this person had.
On the plus side I have completely decked out my apartment with all the stuff that the leavers couldn't take with them so now it's looking NNNIIIIICCCCEEEE!!!
And I have an electric oven!!
YATTA!!
xx
Monday 11 August 2008
Still No Progress
So instead of studying, I've been thinking loads of random and weird thoughts.
Like when people tell you they're busy. And then you see that they've been messing around online - checking one blog or another. Not that I'm been checking or anything ;-)
And then there's people and their phones. This is really annoying. So someone sends you a message. You reply straightaway...and then you hear nothing from that person for HOURS!! We all know you're just trying to look busy so JUST REPLY!! Grrrrr.....oooh and when someone has LITERALLY just sent you a message and you call them and they don't pick up the phone...or when you have LITERALLY just missed someone's call and you call them STRAIGHT back and they don't pick up the phone - that one really gets under my skin....
Also, when you ask someone a question and you never get a direct answer. I always tell people that I will always ask questions - it doesn't mean that they have to answer. But why don't people just SAY that instead of dodging. Not exactly sublte.
On a more fabulous note, I have just found out that I will have a fabulous big ass car for a little bit longer!! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!! God I look good behind the wheel of a forrester!!
Doh...i REALLY need to study....my contact lenses hurt...still can't be arsed to do anything about either of those things...
I think I'll eat some startburst instead...where did the cherry flavour come from?! I HATE cherry flavoured things! Although I like cherries...weird eh?
OK..study...yes...
Like when people tell you they're busy. And then you see that they've been messing around online - checking one blog or another. Not that I'm been checking or anything ;-)
And then there's people and their phones. This is really annoying. So someone sends you a message. You reply straightaway...and then you hear nothing from that person for HOURS!! We all know you're just trying to look busy so JUST REPLY!! Grrrrr.....oooh and when someone has LITERALLY just sent you a message and you call them and they don't pick up the phone...or when you have LITERALLY just missed someone's call and you call them STRAIGHT back and they don't pick up the phone - that one really gets under my skin....
Also, when you ask someone a question and you never get a direct answer. I always tell people that I will always ask questions - it doesn't mean that they have to answer. But why don't people just SAY that instead of dodging. Not exactly sublte.
On a more fabulous note, I have just found out that I will have a fabulous big ass car for a little bit longer!! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!! God I look good behind the wheel of a forrester!!
Doh...i REALLY need to study....my contact lenses hurt...still can't be arsed to do anything about either of those things...
I think I'll eat some startburst instead...where did the cherry flavour come from?! I HATE cherry flavoured things! Although I like cherries...weird eh?
OK..study...yes...
No Discipline to Study
So I've just started doing an intensive 2 week Japanese course.
The homework was easy - took just under 10 minutes.
And then I remembered that we have a vocab test tomorrow.
Vocab learning has always been a weak spot. I can never be arsed to just sit down and learn words. And that is exactly what I should be doing right now, but I'm finding anything and everything else to do instead. Including waiting for the highlights of the Olympics to come on TV. If I can find the right channel.......
Anything to not study....my bed is so comfy...maybe I'll just have a lil nap and study later.....
Yah, I think I'll do that....
Zzzzzzzzzz
The homework was easy - took just under 10 minutes.
And then I remembered that we have a vocab test tomorrow.
Vocab learning has always been a weak spot. I can never be arsed to just sit down and learn words. And that is exactly what I should be doing right now, but I'm finding anything and everything else to do instead. Including waiting for the highlights of the Olympics to come on TV. If I can find the right channel.......
Anything to not study....my bed is so comfy...maybe I'll just have a lil nap and study later.....
Yah, I think I'll do that....
Zzzzzzzzzz
What is wrong with girls?!?!?!
You know what annoys me most about other girls? Watching them fish for compliments.
For example....
.....a girl steps out wearing a micro mini. She then proceeds to complain about how much she hates her legs/how fat she is etc. etc...
What a load of bollocks. If you hated your legs so much you wouldn't wear a skirt that shows them off!!
And what's even more annoying than this are the people who entertain this kind of behaviour!! 'No, you have great legs' etc. etc.....
Grrrrrrrrrr
For example....
.....a girl steps out wearing a micro mini. She then proceeds to complain about how much she hates her legs/how fat she is etc. etc...
What a load of bollocks. If you hated your legs so much you wouldn't wear a skirt that shows them off!!
And what's even more annoying than this are the people who entertain this kind of behaviour!! 'No, you have great legs' etc. etc.....
Grrrrrrrrrr
Saturday 9 August 2008
Put on your dancing shoes!!
I love dancing. I went to a reggae night last night in the only club in my town. Music was good but there was something missing!! I couldn't get my dancing groove on!!
The minute you start dancing everyone turns and stares. Nice. And in this club no one really dances. Which was a shame because the music was on point!!
I need to get me to Fukuoka!!
xx
The minute you start dancing everyone turns and stares. Nice. And in this club no one really dances. Which was a shame because the music was on point!!
I need to get me to Fukuoka!!
xx
Friday 8 August 2008
Possibly the longest week EVER?
Oh my god this week has gone so damn SLOWLY!!!
Anyone else felt that?
At last it's Friday. At fucking last. This week has dragged like you would not believe. Maybe it's because people have left and I'm finding myself with nothing to do. Just kinda like lying on the bed and trhinking 'hmmmmmmm......what shall I do?'
The first people that I would call to do something with have left. Of course, I do have other friends here but I don't have money to do anything right now. So it's a no win situation.
I'm wondering if the fact that I am constantly thinking about the leavers is the reason why this week has gone so slowly. Because I'm thinking about how much I miss them. Maybe I've spent too much time being sad so the week has been long for me?
And the weather definitely isn't helping. Scorching one minute, amazing storms the next. Kinda fits my mood actually.....
But next week I start a Japanese course so that should be enough to keep my mind occupied for the next couple of weeks...maybe.
xx
Anyone else felt that?
At last it's Friday. At fucking last. This week has dragged like you would not believe. Maybe it's because people have left and I'm finding myself with nothing to do. Just kinda like lying on the bed and trhinking 'hmmmmmmm......what shall I do?'
The first people that I would call to do something with have left. Of course, I do have other friends here but I don't have money to do anything right now. So it's a no win situation.
I'm wondering if the fact that I am constantly thinking about the leavers is the reason why this week has gone so slowly. Because I'm thinking about how much I miss them. Maybe I've spent too much time being sad so the week has been long for me?
And the weather definitely isn't helping. Scorching one minute, amazing storms the next. Kinda fits my mood actually.....
But next week I start a Japanese course so that should be enough to keep my mind occupied for the next couple of weeks...maybe.
xx
Thursday 7 August 2008
Ego Booster
With teaching you often wonder if you're doing a good job...
...and it's always awesome to be told you really, really are.
I've spent 3 days over the last week with other English teachers teaching primary school teachers how to teach. Quite amusing really seeing as most of us have no teaching qualifications whatsoever. But there is one thing that makes us valuable to them...
...we speak English.
And that is what we were teaching them. Classroom English.
I had a great time doing it. Quite a refreshing change to teach adults actually. Although for the most part they act just like the kids do when we played games. It was awesome.
At the end they have to fill in an evaluation form of the seminar. And I got some glowing reports. Not just the usual 'she speaks slowly and clearly' (although that in itself is a good thing), but things like 'she has a big, charming smile', 'she always encourages you', 'it's easy to ask her questions' and other things like that.
Maybe stupid but it's like a feel good thing. People that you work with all the time always tell you you're doing great. So you don't really know whether that's true or not. So when you go into a completely new environment and work with people you don't know, hearing that they think you're a good teacher is awesome!
:-)
...and it's always awesome to be told you really, really are.
I've spent 3 days over the last week with other English teachers teaching primary school teachers how to teach. Quite amusing really seeing as most of us have no teaching qualifications whatsoever. But there is one thing that makes us valuable to them...
...we speak English.
And that is what we were teaching them. Classroom English.
I had a great time doing it. Quite a refreshing change to teach adults actually. Although for the most part they act just like the kids do when we played games. It was awesome.
At the end they have to fill in an evaluation form of the seminar. And I got some glowing reports. Not just the usual 'she speaks slowly and clearly' (although that in itself is a good thing), but things like 'she has a big, charming smile', 'she always encourages you', 'it's easy to ask her questions' and other things like that.
Maybe stupid but it's like a feel good thing. People that you work with all the time always tell you you're doing great. So you don't really know whether that's true or not. So when you go into a completely new environment and work with people you don't know, hearing that they think you're a good teacher is awesome!
:-)
Tuesday 5 August 2008
Completely hooked on Bhutto
Today I started reading 'Daughter of the East' - Benazir Bhutto's autobiography.
I am completely hooked.
I'm not embarrassed to admit that I knew nothing of the history or politics of Pakistan before I started reading this book. It's never been an area I've taken great interest in...well, not until Bhutto's assasination. Or rather I've fallen into the group of people who, mainly due to terroism and the events of 7/11 and 7/7, have stereotypically negative views of the Middle East.
Reading this autobiography is a history lesson. And the more I read, the more amazed I become at how much I don't knwo about Pakistan and it's history. I didn't even know that Bangladesh was originally East Pakistan before it was invaded by India. I knew nothing about the war between Pakistan and India.
It makes me feel slightly guilty about being so ignorant in my opinions of the East.
I think the majority of the West have always considered Islam to be a repressive religion. I was taught that in school. But Bhutto's autobiography argues the point that it is not Islam that is repressive, but 'MEN'S INTERPRETATION OF ISLAM'. I'm not entirely convinced that makes it any better.
It really is a compelling read. That an Islamic woman can be so politically active at such a young age and change Pakistani society by becoming Islam's first elected woman Prime Minister.
A true inspiration. What a waste of a life.
I am completely hooked.
I'm not embarrassed to admit that I knew nothing of the history or politics of Pakistan before I started reading this book. It's never been an area I've taken great interest in...well, not until Bhutto's assasination. Or rather I've fallen into the group of people who, mainly due to terroism and the events of 7/11 and 7/7, have stereotypically negative views of the Middle East.
Reading this autobiography is a history lesson. And the more I read, the more amazed I become at how much I don't knwo about Pakistan and it's history. I didn't even know that Bangladesh was originally East Pakistan before it was invaded by India. I knew nothing about the war between Pakistan and India.
It makes me feel slightly guilty about being so ignorant in my opinions of the East.
I think the majority of the West have always considered Islam to be a repressive religion. I was taught that in school. But Bhutto's autobiography argues the point that it is not Islam that is repressive, but 'MEN'S INTERPRETATION OF ISLAM'. I'm not entirely convinced that makes it any better.
It really is a compelling read. That an Islamic woman can be so politically active at such a young age and change Pakistani society by becoming Islam's first elected woman Prime Minister.
A true inspiration. What a waste of a life.
Monday 4 August 2008
Slowly Does It
I have been living in chaos for a few days now.
Since I came back from Hong Kong I've been meaning to tidy up my apartment.
I haven't even unpacked that suitcase. Mainly because I don't have enough hangers to put all my clothes on. And I've run out of space for my bags and shoes.
I've just realised just how many bags and shoes I actually have. And that doesn't even include what I left behind in England.
But my place is starting to look good. I have a new black leather sofa and a new table which has automatically made the room look a billion times more stylish than it did with the monstrosities that were there before.
And I now have a double bed. It may be short but it's wide!! Not that I'll be able to take full advantage of that on a regular basis anymore! :-(
But I can't stand it anymore. Constantly stubbing my toe on pans and tripping over clothes/bags/shoes has finally given me the kick up the ass I needed to finally tidy up. That and the fact that I have nothing to do. And no money or petrol.
I haven't been this poor for a long time. And there are still 3 weeks til payday. I've had to swallow my pride and ask a friend for money. And then I look around at all these bags and shoes and new clothes and realise where all that money went!! lol!
I WILL have this apartment cleaned by the end of the day. I MEAN it. I don't have anything else to do!! And yet I'm still procrastinating. The place is a fucking tip I just can't be arsed!
But it's something to stop me from just being sad for the rest of the day.
よし！
Since I came back from Hong Kong I've been meaning to tidy up my apartment.
I haven't even unpacked that suitcase. Mainly because I don't have enough hangers to put all my clothes on. And I've run out of space for my bags and shoes.
I've just realised just how many bags and shoes I actually have. And that doesn't even include what I left behind in England.
But my place is starting to look good. I have a new black leather sofa and a new table which has automatically made the room look a billion times more stylish than it did with the monstrosities that were there before.
And I now have a double bed. It may be short but it's wide!! Not that I'll be able to take full advantage of that on a regular basis anymore! :-(
But I can't stand it anymore. Constantly stubbing my toe on pans and tripping over clothes/bags/shoes has finally given me the kick up the ass I needed to finally tidy up. That and the fact that I have nothing to do. And no money or petrol.
I haven't been this poor for a long time. And there are still 3 weeks til payday. I've had to swallow my pride and ask a friend for money. And then I look around at all these bags and shoes and new clothes and realise where all that money went!! lol!
I WILL have this apartment cleaned by the end of the day. I MEAN it. I don't have anything else to do!! And yet I'm still procrastinating. The place is a fucking tip I just can't be arsed!
But it's something to stop me from just being sad for the rest of the day.
よし！
No More Tears
I can't believe that I still have tears left to cry. I don't WANT to cry anymore and just when I think it's over a fresh lot start rolling down my face.
I've NEVER experienced so much physical and emotional pain saying goodbye. It HURTS so much. And the worst bit is I have absolutely NO IDEA how to deal with it.
I think it's paranoia that the person who is leaving is going to forget about you/not want to see you any more/meet someone else. You try at hard at first to keep in touch with the people that leave but over time that contact more often that not fizzles out. The only way to stop that from happening is for everyone to put the effort in.
But that still doesn't mean that everything is going to be OK. No matter how much the leaving people say that it is. That's before they get back into their old life or start a new one someone else. That's before they meet other people/rekindle with old friends. And then you become nothing but a distance memory in spite of the amount of time that you have invested in those people.
How do you stop that from happening?
You don't.
And that's why saying goodbye hurts so much.
:-(
I've NEVER experienced so much physical and emotional pain saying goodbye. It HURTS so much. And the worst bit is I have absolutely NO IDEA how to deal with it.
I think it's paranoia that the person who is leaving is going to forget about you/not want to see you any more/meet someone else. You try at hard at first to keep in touch with the people that leave but over time that contact more often that not fizzles out. The only way to stop that from happening is for everyone to put the effort in.
But that still doesn't mean that everything is going to be OK. No matter how much the leaving people say that it is. That's before they get back into their old life or start a new one someone else. That's before they meet other people/rekindle with old friends. And then you become nothing but a distance memory in spite of the amount of time that you have invested in those people.
How do you stop that from happening?
You don't.
And that's why saying goodbye hurts so much.
:-(
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