Food for Thought

I've just started reading 'What Should I Do With My Life? The True Story of People who Answered the Ultimate Question' by Po Bronson.

7 pages in and it's getting seriously deep already. This passage about fear has really struck a cord with me:

'At one of Rinpoche's "teachings" at a hospice, he described how fear holds us back from our own advancement. "Fear is like a wound within out emotions," he said. You heal a fear much like you heal a cut on your hand. If you ignore the cut, it will get infected. But it will heal itself if you pay attention to it and give it time. Same with a fear. First, recognize it's existence - what kind of fear is it? Is it a fear of poverty, of loneliness, of rejection? Then use common sense. Don't let the fear get infected. Often we burn 70% of our emotional energy on what we fear might happen (90% of which won't happen). By devoting out energy to our other emotions, we will heal naturally.'

So simple in theory. But when fear does take a hold of you, it's really difficult to put it aside and concentrate on other emotions. And what happens if you turn your attention to an emotion that's worse than fear? That causes more pain than fear? Considering that this passage is saying that we use 70% of our emotional energy fearing what might happen, what exactly is within that 70%? Surely it can't be just fear? There has to be other negative emotions intertwined with that right?

Rather deep thinking for a Thursday afternoon - just before I'm due to set out on a road trip. My mood is already a bit sombre because of the elementary school graduation I attended this morning. The Junior High School was emotional but these are just children. And watching children cry tears at the heartstrings and I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

Elementary graduations are different. Especially at the rural schools. There were only 5 kids in the 6th grade and since there are barely over 50 kids in the whole school, the ceremony had a very intimate feel to it. More so when the vice-principal broke down in the middle of a speech. The other grades gave their well wishes to the 5 graduates and then it was the parents' turn. I got a couple of messages of thanks within those speeches as well, which touched me a lot considering that they didn't even know that I was going to be there. When the 6nenseis gave their individual speeches, 3 out of 5 of them expressed their desires to try as hard as possible when it came to studying English. And that made me feel really proud because as an English teacher, you know that you play a significant part in that desire. What was also extremely hard to witness was the reactions of the 5nenseis. 5 and 6nensei are extremely close and they were absolutely bawling their eyes out which triggered me off and left me unable to stop.

A very emotional day. Not really the best state to be starting a trip off in!

xx