A Welcome Break

My goodness me, what a year.

The last couple of months have been a tough end to what has been a very tough year.

This holiday next week couldn't come at a better time. I am so ready for it, I feel like I need it and I'm hoping to come back to Japan with a clearer head and a more positive attitude.

My emotions have flown all over the place over the last couple of months, as I have battled back and forth with trying to work out what the right thing to do is. To be honest, I still don't have an answer and I'm hoping that I can go away, get away from it all, and then be able to figure it all out from the outside - not stuck in the middle, surrounded by nonsense. I don't know who's telling the truth, I don't know who I'm supposed to listen to. I feel confused and there's no better remedy for all of this than getting the hell away!!

I spent the last couple of days trying to work out what exactly it is that has triggered my temper so much. Apart from the fact that people have left me feeling so disappointed in them and let down....I dunno...I haven't reacted so strongly in a workplace since....ever. Never done it. I've worked on my temper a lot over the years and promised myself that I would never, ever let people in the work place see it. And I haven't....but over the last couple of months, I can feel it dying to get out.

So why now?

I can honestly only pinpoint it to one thing. It's gonna sound weird to so many people but to others like me who live to travel, I'm appealing to you guys to understand. I think it's because...


....I haven't been on holiday for 4 months. 


I told you it was gonna sound weird...and probably even spoilt....but let me explain.


Last year I went on holiday regulary - whether it was abroad or even just a lil day trip in Japan. What you have to understand about eikaiwa teaching here is that it very quickly becomes repetitive and for people like me, who crave diversity, it doesn't take long to feel like you're trapped, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction, impatience, constant annoyance and just....ARRRGGGHHHH!!!


I think that's what happened. Honestly. Taking constant trips breaks it up - work your arse off and then take a break. That was how it has always been for me in this company. It's perhaps the most attractive thing about working there - being able to choose your own schedule and taking off as much time as you want, whenever you want. You don't get there anywhere else. So doing the same thing continuously for 4 months has driven me to see too many negative things around me - things that I knew were there but could easily ignore before. But...I dunno...I just kinda snapped and now I have more wrinkles than ever!


LOL!

Dying to get away and come back with a better perspective.

And I'm gonna make sure I get my regular breaks next year so I don't have to go through this again!


Roll on 2012 - I am so ready for you!


xoxo