AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!

I told you.

You saw right? I KNEW I was gonna be let down.

And now I feel upset, hurt, disappointed. The heartache has returned.

The emotional I feel most of all.

Anger.

Anger at myself. At my weakness. At allowing this pain to come back because I blindly hang on to false hopes. Even though the hope wasn't there in the first place. I already had the sign that I was gonna be let down. I'm such a fool.

But you know, I think I 've realised why I keep setting myself up for these falls.

Because I'm scared.

When that person is COMPLETELY out your life, I'm scared of what I will do on my own. It's like I still need him for a couple of things. And I was relying on that help you know, because deep down, I'm scared that I'm not going to able to do certain things by myself.

I think if I can get into the mindset that I'm ready for the challenge of working this all out on my own, then just MAYBE I can get myself out of this depressive rut.

Damn, I used to be hard as nails and now I'm as sensitive as ****.

And I hate it.