:-(

You have no iidea how depressed I am about my iriver buggering up.

:-((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

I have one last hope. I'm going to Vietnam tomorrow and I have to transfer in Hong Kong.

Hong Kong uses the same plug socket as the UK....so I'm planning to run around that airport till I find one. And then I will know for sure whether it's the battery or whether it's this stupid Japanese plugs. If it charges, I'm not gonna use it - I'm gonna save the battery and then as soon as I get back to Japan, I'm gonna buy 2 4GB memory sticks and back up ALL of my music. I don't care how long it takes. If it doesn't charge...I'm gonna cry my eyes out.

I'm soooooo saaaaaadddddddddd.

WWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

MY MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GRRRRRAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously fucked off!!!!

I can't charge my MP3 player!!!!

I've been having issues charging it for a couple of months now. It's like, you have to have the adapter at a certain angle for it to work - does anyone else have this problem?!

But today NOTHING is working. I've had it for 4 years so I'm wondering if the battery has completely packed up.

I am FUCKING MAD AND UPSET AS HELL!!! I have more than 7000 songs on that thing!! And people KNOW how much music means to me!!!

Not only can I not afford to buy a new player, but I will lose soooo much music that I won't be able to retrieve. Like complilation albums I made without knowing the names of any of the songs - just who they were by. And compliation albums my DJ friends made for me which have no breaks in between the songs. These are completely irreplaceable. And there are so many of them!!! There were so many I couldn't veen back them all up.

And now I've lost them forever.

GUTTED.

:'(

One Crazy Bitch

So I told you about my friend stalkin her man.

The girl is actually insane.

First yesterday, she sends me a message to tell me that on one of her phone snooping ventures, she found out that he met a girl when he told her he was at home in bed. She was frantic.

In a way I am a bit disappointed that he turned out to be a liar. BUT, I told her that's what she gets for snooping. It happens sooner or later I guess - you find the wrong thing and can't do anything about it. Then it's time for the relationship to end.

Then about 10 mins ago I got a call from her. She said her man had changed his email password and she couldn't figure out what it is!!!!!

I'm to blame for that. Her man called me yesterday just to see how I was. I told him so story about my friend who had his email address hacked and how I changed my password and he prob should too. I know it's not my business but my friend freaks me out. And...I don't know.....but anyway, I kinda told him he should change his password and make it hard to guess.

Looks like he did. And my friend has actually hit the point of insanity. She told me she cancelled lunch with her friend so that she could try and work out what the password was. She even went so far as to try and guess the answer to a secret question. Like you know when you forget a password you get redirected to that page that asks you something so you can reset it? That's what she tried to do. Except apparently the secret question is related to his home address or something. I didn't really get what she was babbling on about. Either way, it's information that she can't get hold of and she's going crazy bout it.

You know what she said? She asked me what would happen if he changes his other passwords!! Because then she wouldn't be able to reset them without access to his email account!!!!!!!!

I had to shout to interrupt her and asked her if she had any idea what she sounded like?! I was telling a friend yesterday that she must have mental issues. Right? I mean, no one's insecurity runs that deep...

...right?

Then she tried to...what's the word...turn me into her? Nah..not that..hmmmm......anyway she kept questioning me about my man and what he gets up to and do I think he sees other girls and all this shit. I got sooooo mad!!! I told her she was one crazy bitch and not to even attempt to make me think in the same way that she does.

For a split second, I did wonder. And then I chided myself because truthfully, I don't think that people EVER really know EVERYTHING that their man or girl gets up to. And sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Not ALL the time - it doesn't mean that you should turn a blind eye if something is going on but you don't have to poke around so deep till you find something wrong.

Stupid cow. She wanted to stay at my house during her visit. Hell no!!! The minute my back is turned she would be snooping for the sake of it. But I've already decided that when her trip here is done, so are we. I don't need friends like that.

She's just...weird.

After School

Teachers always tell me how tired I must being going back to my middle school at the end of the day just to help with the speech contest.

But to be honest, I quite like it!

Because I have so many schools, I don't get that time to talk to my middle school students so much. And let's face it, you can only take the conversation with a primary school student so far.

So for me, it's great. I always hang around when I'm done with the speech contest kids. And other kids are more than happy to talk to me because they know I have the time for them.

Makes me kind of sad that I don't get to interact with them more. But at the same time, I like the diversity that constantly changing schools brings. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I was spending a whole day at one school.

So it's all good really!!

Paranoia

I recently met my friend's boyfriend.

We were all out having coffee and he went to the toilet. The minute his back was turned, my friend reached for his phone and frantically started checking his messages.

WWHHHHAAAATTTT??? I was so horrified my jaw dropped. When I asked her what she was doing, she admitted she was checking his messages. I asked her if she thought he was cheating on her and she said 'No, but it doesn't hurt to check'.

I couldn't believe it. For absolutely no reason she was invading her man's privacy. I thought going through his phone was bad enough. And then she revealed to me that she checks his Facebook, his blog and his emails!! I asked her if he gave her the passwords and she said that she had spent a day figuring them all out. I was staring at her dumbfounded. I was thinking that she was an obsessive control freak. I would never have thought that she could be THAT insecure. Her man came back so I didn't have a chance to talk to her about it further.

The revelation made me really uncomfortable. It actually freaks me out a little bit to know someone who is so...what's the word? Paranoid? I swear she's bordering on stalking the poor guy. They were sitting across the table from me. Happy as anything. How appearances are deceiving! I couldn't help but look at her and think 'You manipulative cow. How can you invade his privacy on every possible level like that when he's done NOTHING to warrant it?'

Then I started thinking. If I thought my man was cheating on me, would I check his phone? She doesn't even think he's doing anything wrong. She's checking for the sake of....what? Knowing EVERYTHING he's doing?! I don't understand. I don't think I would WANT to see what's in the phone. I mean, if you find nothing, wouldn't you feel like shit for distrusting that person in the first place? And then if you do find something - what are you gonna do about it? If my man confronted me about something he'd found while going through my phone, despite what he may have found, the initial act alone would be enough for me to dump him because I would NEVER be able to trust him not to do it again. And I'm sure that he would do the same.

Everyone is entitled to a bit of personal space. For a lot of people that is their phone, email etc. Everyone should be allowed that. The thought of someone reading through all my messages and mails sends a horrible feeling of intrusion down my spine. I mean, are you really in love with someone if you're behaving like that? It's actually really scary.....can you be THAT in love that it would drive you to that? Or is that kind of behaviour triggered by mental instability or just insecurity?

It's a hard one. But I don't understand what she's doing. It's even made me nervous to leave things like my phone or even my organiser around her. Not that there's anything incriminating in them but I hate the thought that she might look for the sake of it. It's weird. Her man is such a nice guy and doesn't deserve to be treated like that.

But..BUT the best bit about all of this.....is she's dealing with another guy!!!!!!! First class hypocrisy!!!!!

And then it made sense. The reason she does what she does is because she thinks coz she's behaving badly, then there's a possibility her man might be as well. She doesn't believe that he is but she wants to check that he ISN'T.

Makes me sick.

Loving or Playing?

I miss the playing days.

That's not to say that I don't like being in a relationship.

But being single...the ease of it all. The fun. The excitement. The no strings attached. The 'I can do what I want, when I want with who I want' attitude that goes with being single.

Do you know what I miss most about the playing days?

No heartache.

Just Living? Or LIVING Living?

I was thinking today.

Just about life.

Everyday I got o work. I'm doing this job which isn't really a career for me - just something to pass the time. On average, I go on a trip twice a month. Every month, I blow every penny of my salary. i'm learning something new everyday.

But am I LIVING? I don't know. Today I've just been in this daze. Like a routine. I'm not like woohoo happy. But I'm not unhappy. I'm just.....here. Sometimes I feel like I know exactly what I'm doing. Other times, I haven't got a clue. I am just here. Doing these things. Day after day.

That's not LIVING right? That's just EXISTING. But I don't feel like I'm just EXISTING because I DO things. But at the same time, I feel like I'm missing something. Something that would make everything perfect. Well, that wouldn't be just SOMETHING. That would be a lot of things.

It's so hard to actually measure the extent of one's happiness. Different things make different people happy. What makes me happy? Well, right now - travelling. After that, I don't really know. You pursue things that you think will make you happy, only to discover they do the opposite.

And I read back over this and realise that I have made no sense. Gomen.

It's just my stream of thought.

Kanji

I'm absolutely useless at studying for the JLPT.

I planned to study for 4 hours this morning. 1 hour and 20 kanji later, I was reading a book instead.

I'm running out of time for this. Yet that still doesn't seem to be a kick up the arse for me.

Maybe because I've already resigned myself to the fact that I don't have a chance in hell of passing.

Positive thinking, I know!!

H&M

I was in Tokyo at the weekend and I went shopping in Ginza. A H&M has recently opened there so I thought I'd check it out.

The queue to get inside was ridiculous. I guess it's something new to the Japanese. And people were getting in a frenzy because there were some famous actors and volleyball players there.

Inside was a nightmare. Each floor was so small and narrow and rammed with people. If I wanted to try something on, I didn't even think about going to the changing room. I just stripped there and then.

I don't even got o H&M back home. I don't even like that store. Yet, here in Japan I still managed to spend over 100 quid there. Which actually goes a long way in this kind of cheap store.

You know what I think it is? I can buy clothes labelled 'small'.

LOL

xx

Finally Catching a Break

Luck was on my side this morning.

I woke up, completely exhausted. And the last thing I felt like was 4 morning lessons at a school I hate, with the dumbest kids known to man and unhelpful teachers.

I debated calling in sick about 3 times as I was getting ready. But with all this transfer stuff looming over my head, I decided that now is not the time for me to be pulling sickies.

So I went in and I had my 2 5nensei classes. Which went well because the teacher was organized, had done all the prep and he made the class a lot of fun. The teacher in the 2nd 5nensei class doesn't ever do that but she does make sure that the kids are listening and taking part. Even if it is from the back of the classroom.

After the 2nd period, I go back to the staffroom to be told that I wouldn't have any ghastly 6nensei classes today. I was so shocked with happiness my jaw dropped. They were apologising again and again and I had to try so hard to stop myself from punching the air in delight. A big grin still made it's way across my face though!!

YATTA!!!!!

Jesus, I'm Knackered!!

It's 8.50pm and I swear I'm about to fall asleep.

Out of nowhere I'm suddenly knackered. I know I've been busy all day but I'm only feeling it now.

I don't care how early it is - I'm gonna watch an episode of Prison Break and go to bed.

Night.

xx

Working from Home

I went back to my middle school at 3.30 to help the kids practice for the speech contest.

We were going until 5. And for the first time ever, I decided to stay late so I could finish my lesson prep and other stuff that I know I won't do at home.

What I didn't realise (because I'm never there in the afternoons) is that Wednesday is the leaving early day. At 5.10 I was basically told to go home!!

So now I've had to ring my work home with me. And I HATE doing that!! Why? Because I NEVER do it!! It's so annoying! I was in the right mindset and everything. But now I'm home. And my bed is sooo comfy....

Uh-oh.......

Just Fit

I just got back from the gym. I only swam for 50 minutes today because I have a lot of lesson prep to do. Plus I'm feeling a bit tired.

Straight after I came out of the gym, I went into KFC!!! I haven't been there for a LONG time. I don't even eat KFC back in London.

Some might say I undid all my work in the pool. But I completely disagree. I joined a gym to get fit. If you want to be fit AND healthy, then you have to eat properly. But I don't want to be healthy. I like my food too much. Therefore, I shall continue to eat what I like. I'm just working on the getting fit part.

There is another reason why I don't be healthy and work out at the same time. I actually CAN'T. If I did, the weight would come falling off me by the kilo. I'm one of those annoying people. Too easy to lose weight and waayyyy too hard to put it back on. Plus, when I lose weight (when I'm sick), it comes off all of the best parts!! And then when I put it back on again, it goes to all the wrong places!!

I remember once when I was at the doctor, I asked her how to put weight on just my ass!! LOL!! She just laughed at me. Not surprising really!!

Anyone have any ideas bout this?

Hehe

xx

I Love My Students

So I was at my middle school this morning. I normally hate Monday mornings because I have 4 classes. I know, I know, it's just cruel.

But today was just jokes. My students were on point with making me laugh!!

First 2nensei. They were told to write down their wish. The example that they were given was:

'My wish is to speak English well. I want to travel the world'.

LOLOLOLOL - this is what I got -

1) My wish is to be ginger. I like carrot.

2) My wish is to be invisible. I want to poke ~~ sensei's head.

3) My wish is to be old. I want to marry Ms. Jade

4) My wish is to have a big dinner. I want to have big meat.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHE!!!

And if that wasn't enough to brighten up my Monday morning, I then had 3 1nensei classes. They're doing the third person in verbs - speaks, likes, plays etc

They were asked to write about me using the following as a guildline:

This is Tom.

He is from America.

He speaks English.

His hobby is mountain biking.

He likes to watch movies.

He plays tennis.

So I told them a few things about me - I said I like cooking, watching sports, dancing, going to the cinema and other boring stuff like that.

LOL - this is what they came up with:

She likes cocking.

She likes cock.

She likes to cock.

She likes cocking. With her father.

She plays cock.

She dances cock.

She likes big weener.

She eats weener.

She is big.

She is 37 years old.

She is old woman.

She has a long leg. (JUST ONE????!!!!!)

HEHE - i was marking them with my JTE and even she was wetting herself. She said she reckoned that some of them were genuine mistakes but the majority knew what they were saying because they're 'at that age'.

Either way, it brightened up my Monday!!

xx

No Better, No Worse

So I did end up going out last night.

And randomly met some guys from the BBC! So nice to hear some hardcore London accents.

Anywaysssssss, I had a GREAT time. Danced my arse off. Although I wouldn't say I sweat out my cold coz it wasn't that hot and I didn't really sweat! LOL!!

But good times! I've woken up and feel no worse so it's alllllll good!

xx

Sweat it Out

I've been toying with the idea of going to Fukuoka all day.

My body is screaming at me to stay at home in bed.

But I hate the idea of germs just festering in my house. There's enough filth in here already!! Man, I really need to clean.

So I have decided to go out. Against all better judgement. I'm gonna have a bash at sweating it all out on the dance floor.

Prob gonna pay the price tomorrow though!

xx

Kunchi

It's Ouchi Kunchi this weekend.

And it is an absolutely GLORIOUS day outside.

Yet, I am forced to watch the whole thing from my flat. I feel a bit better today and I want it to stay that way!!! I want to save my strength so I can go out tonight.

I remember kunchi last year. I was a Japanese 'princess' and had to be at the salon at 6.30am so that could start on my make up.

I will never forget my horror when I looked in the mirror and saw Michael Jackson in a kimono staring back at me. They painted my face BRIGHT WHITE and the rest of the make up was even worse!! It was so embarrassing parading through my little town in front of all my students and teachers and other work colleagues. All the adults were telling me how beautiful I looked. LOL how patronising. At least I got an honest response from the kids...laughter!!!

It was nice getting so much free food and drink though. And I got paid for it! Which I didn't know at the time.

I would like to go out and watch on the street. But I don't have the energy to deal with my super genki students and their parents. I need to sleep a bit more!!

Which leaves me with the debate of what to do today.

My house is so damn messy it's starting to do my head in. There is dust everywhere. Not to mention I can't see the floor for bags and flashcards and clothes. If ever there was a day that I should tidy up, it's today. But I just can't be arsed.

So I think I'll just stay in bed and...yep, you got it...

watch Prison Break!!

Heheheheheh

xx

あぶない！！！！

Just thought I'd let you know what was going on coz I can't sleep. My cold is getting so bad it's keeping me up.

So, me being the confrontational person that I am, decided to speak to this guy. I wrote a carefully worded email and sent it to him.

Now if ever I was to get a sign to say I was doing the wrong thing, this was it. The message came bouncing back because my friend hasn't paid his keitai bill!!

And then I thought about it a bit more and decided not to get involved - hell, I got enough dramas of my own without dealing with someone else's!!!!

Since then I've been thinking about why I reacted the way I did. It's nothing that concerns me. I don't know why I need to tell my girl what was going on.

And I came to the conclusion that if the situation was reversed, I would WANT to know. I would want my friend to tell me. Because if shit blew up later down the line and I found out that my 'friend' knew and didn't tell me....well....

AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!

My nose is so blocked I have to breathe through my mouth...and then I start dribbling on my pillow.

Nice.

I forgot to mention...

...the girl this guy has fallen hard for...

...is me.

Double bugger.

What do I do?!?!

God I've got myself into a right dilemma.

So here's how it is. I promised someone that I wouldn't do something and then I went ahead and did it anyway. Now I have some info and I don't know what to do with it.

I've basically found out that this guy has feelings for another girl who has a boyfriend. All good so far right?

Here's the catch - This guy has a girl. I am REALLY good friends with this guy's girlfriend. I found out that this guy is hardcore pining over some girl that he can't have. It sounds like he's fallen for her HARD.

I've always said in these situations that I would want my friend to tell me what's going on. But he hasn't actually DONE anything and revealing what I know would get me into shit for doing something that I wasn't supposed to do in the first place.......


...so now I'm contemplating speaking to the guy directly..but that also involves me revealing what I shouldn't have been doing in the first place. But the option of doing nothing is driving me crazy coz I don't want my girl to get hurt. And from what I know, it sounds like she's headed for a huge downfall.

Then there's the part of me that's like 'it's none of your business' and that I should just stay the hell out of it. But this girl.....she doesn't deserve this. And she is so into this guy.....

It's one of those awkward situations. I wouldn't even hesitate normally....but in this case I would be getting myself into a mammoth row because of how I found out what I know.

Bugger.

What do I do? Answers on a postcard please!!!

xx

I Surrender

And I'm not talking about Wentworth Miller!!!!!!

I've been resisting catching a cold for weeks. Loads of my teachers are sick. And the kids are too.

I've been legging it out of the classrooms as soon as the lessons are over to stop the kids from touching me so much...

...but it got me.

I'm getting a cold!! I felt really crappy today. I have that annoying runny but blocked nose thing going on and it's doing my head in!!!

I was all set to go to the pool tonight but I just feel so tired I can't go. Plus, even if I did, I don't reckon I'd manage more than half an hour before I'd have to leave!!

So I've just stayed in today and chilled out in front of Prison Break. Hardly a bad substitute because I am LOVING season 2!!!

Plus, I'm off to Vietnam in a couple of weeks and there's no way in hell I wanna be sick for that!!

Looks like I'm gonna have to be a hermit for while!!

Boo!!!!

Wentworth Miller

So I'm on season 2 of Prison Break.

All throughout the first season I was like, yeeehhhhh Michael is OK but he's a bit toooooo pretty. And I normally like pretty guys. I was more about Lincoln (and he gets SERIOUSLY hot in season 2).

But after 10 episodes of season 2 I now think they're BOTH SERIOUSLY HOT!!!! I swear it's that beige suit.....and Lincoln's open necked shirt!!!

I've caved in!! I admit it!!

WENTWORTH MILLER IS SERIOUSLY DAMN HOT!!!

And then my friend told me he was gay.

Typical!!!

The Future

I was thinking today.

I was having one of those 'I'm living in Japan' surreal moments.

Plans are starting to come together. So much is banking on this transfer to Tokyo. But don't worry, I'm not stupid. I have a Plan B. Although I'm not ready to reveal my plans. Sorry.

I'm not one of those people who is scared of change. In fact, I embrace it! I love the excitement of doing something completely new. I've felt that excited everytime I've moved to a different country. And that's why coming here was so easy for me. I didn't have that fear. I was excited as hell at the airport and driving everyone mad because they were trying to get their thoughts together and I was the annoying miss genki!!

But I am thinking that now I have to start working out a future plan. Not necessarily where I'm gonna be living, but what I want to do. I was so set on diplomatic service. I enquired about it but you have to be willing to be placed anywhere in the world. With my languages, I'm guessing I would be placed in South America. Now I adore South America but it isn't somewhere I could live for 3 years. And that's the minimum length of time.

So I asked about specific country placements and it's basically a no. There's no guarantee and I could end up in the MIddle East. Which is an even bigger no. So I was advised to try and apply to embassies directly in the countries that I want to work in.

I still adore the idea of diplomatic service. But you basically have to surrender you chances of settling down. You're moving around every few years....it's not the most stable situation in the world.
I'm still goin for the FCO though. It's what I've wanted to do for years.

Yup, that's what I've been thinking about today.

A Warm Autumn

The weather this year in Japan has been really strange.

Last year, summer was unbearably hot. There wasn't an autumn. This time last year I had already turned my heating on.

This year, the summer was waaayyy cooler. It started to get cold a few weeks back. It's still cool in the mornings and the evenings but the afternoons are seriously warm!! I'm like WTF?! I'm all wrapped up and then start wishing I was still wearing short sleeves by the time I get to my afternoon schools!

At least I'm saving money on my electricity bill by not having to use the heater!!

Road Trips

So I went to Kagoshima for the long weekend.

And it was a lot of fun. Not just because of what I did there (to be honest we spent more time in the car than out of it), but because of the people I went with.

When you go on road trips, it's sooooo essential that you have a good group. The 3 of us haven't travelled before and it worked so unbelievably well. We were laughing our arses off and having a good time before we made it anywhere near our destination!!!

I love retarded moments. And there were plenty of those. From all of us. It wasn't one of those annoying situations where one person had to decide everything. There was input from all sides and no one held back on an opinion.

Which a lot of people do when they are around me because I am so opinionated myself.

And I love it because we are all from different countries. Just listening each other use all this slang was hilarious! And I learnt a few words of my own......my fave being 'eyegasm'. How AWESOME is that word!! There were loads more but I just can't remember!! DOH!!!

Road trips are great. I totally wanna do one across Shizuoka.

Who's down?!

xx

Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy

You have no idea how relieved I was to get into school today and find out that there was a whole schedule change.

Instead of having 4 classes this morning, I only had 1. :-)

Which was a damn good thing because I am absolutely knackered today.

I was basically driving from 9.30am through til about 8.15pm yesterday. And I don't think I was out of the car for more than an hour at a time.

I spent the long weekend in Kagoshima. It was awesome but I could've really done with the day off today. And this afternoon I am faced with 20 kids uber excited to make Halloween costumes for the party next week.

None of which I have had time to prepare for.

Looks like I'm gonna be so busy in the evenings this week. Which is a good thing because I don't have any money to go out with anyway!!

xx

R. I. P

And it's here.

I've been dreading this day all week.

To be honest, I've been scared of this day. Scared of the way that I would feel on this day. Scared of the pain.

It's been a year since she passed away. And the pain of loss that I feel is so raw. It hasn't got easier. I feel the same as I did one year ago when I found out that she had died.

There hasn't been one day I haven't thought about her. Pictures are on my wall. They are normally the last thing I see before I go to bed and the first thing I see in the morning.

I spoke to him yesterday. He's not doing so good. He has been strong for a year but I hear him giving up. He can't be strong all the time and it's starting to take his toll on him. I begged him to find the strength to carry on just a little bit longer. But he's tired. And he and I both know that he can't keep fighting forever. What I'm feeling is a billionth of the pain he is feeling.

So far, I'm being strong. It was a shock. I think it's because I've felt everything that I thought I would be feeling today every other day this week. The energy has been drained out of me.

I'm alone in my grief here. People that honestly meant something to me have left. That's not to say that no one here now means nothing to me. Getting up and going to school was hard. I just want to stay at home and grieve.

But I can't.

I went home at Christmas and I saw the grave. I wasn't prepared for it. I missed the funeral. And the pain that hit me when I saw the headstone is something that I will never forget. Like someone had just sucked out all the oxygen in my body.

Life does go on. But that doesn't meant that we should forget. I think it's important to take the time to remember. And I remember everyday.

I still can't believe she's gone. The sadness inside me as I write this is welling up. But I can't let the tears roll down my face.....only because I have to go school in 10 mins and puffy eyes leads to questions which I don't want to answer.

Later. Later they will come. And they won't stop.

But for now....

R.I.P

I miss you.

I love you.

xxx

Writer's Discretion

Someone made a comment that they always think that my status updates on Facebook will be explained in my blog.

Normally they are.

But sometimes, there are some things that I'm just not ready to write about.

You'll know that I don't use names. I rarely even use he/she. Because in this community, it's pretty obvious who you're talking about. Not that I don't want it to be....but sometimes I like the people that I'm talking about to take a step back and think. I don't want to have to spell it out all the time.

I know people know who they are. If you're reading something, I think you can feel whether it is about you or not. You kinda get that pang because you know that you've done/are doing what is written on the page. You know you're guilty of doing something or behaving in a certain way...

And if you don't know.....

...well, how obnoxious do you wanna be!!

Biscuits

The biscuit tin at my Junior High School has been empty for months. And no one has been anywhere so there has been no omiyage.

Neither of which go down well with my mid morning snack cravings.

And I didn't have breakfast.

I should start doing what some of the other teachers do - have a secret stash of chocolate in my desk and scoff it when I think no one's looking.....

I've seen ya! Busted!

LOL!

Happy Birthday

My Nan would be 86 today.

Happy Birthday.

xx

Music

Music is such a great thing.

And it is such a powerful thing. Music has the ability to open up a whole load of different emotions. It can make you cry. It can make you smile. It can make you laugh. It can make you sing.

But best of all...

..it can make you DANCE.

I was at school today choosing songs for a 'Fill in the blanks' worksheet. And then I started choosing songs for the 'Spin or Diss' thing that my friend told me about that I'm starting next week.

And I couldn't sit still in my seat. I don't know how anyone can calmy sit down while they're listening to music. It just doesn't happen for me. Before I knew it, I was 'quietly' singing to myself....

....except it wasn't quietly. I looked up and my JTE was grinning at me.

But whatever.

I would die without music.

xx

What a Shame

I wish I could enter 10 students into the 1 nensei category of the speech contest this year.

My school came 2nd in this category last year and 3rd in the whole ken. These 10 students are better than those who did it last year.

Meaning that this year, my school has serious potential to come first!!

The L Word

I've just finished watching the first season of The L Word.

Does anyone else watch this?

How horrendously predictable does a TV show have to be?! No twists, no surprises, no secret plots...

I wanted to give up watching, but I hate starting something and not finishing it. Ever the optimist, I always think that it's gonna get better.

So I'll be starting on season 2 soon.

Oh, and isn't Jenny one of the most ANNOYING protagonists you've EVER seen on TV?! Her barely audible, breathless voice makes me want to STRANGLE her!!

Unexpected turns

My Sat night turned out to be so different to what I planned.

But it was awesome.

I was all dressed up and ready to hit Fukuoka. I went to hang with a friend before and that person managed to convince me to stay and have a few drinks, get take out pizza and a movie.

It was so funny because we were going to pick up the pizza and were hustled into a bar I HATE by these 2 Japanese guys. It was on them so we stayed for a drink.

Back at my friend's place was someone I didn't even know was back in Japan! It was so great to catch up with that person too. We were talking so much that before I knew it was like 2am and I didn't noticed how many beers we'd got through!!

And then today I went back to Costco. My cheapest visit yet with a expenditure of just over a man. YATTA!

I love random weekends like this.

xx

Hehe!

LOL

So i didn't make it to my STEP class. My legs are aching and I figured that a 60min step class would only make them worse! Guess it's better not to push it and cripple myself!

As for the cleaning...

...well, I did my laundry...

Think I'll have a nap now!

xx

The Power of Exercise

I was scared to get out of bed this morning. I've worked out the last 2 days and after yesterday's aerobics class, my arms were so sore, I thought I would be feeling serious effects today!!

But I woke up, got up...

...and I feel FANTASTIC!!!

I only joined the gym last Monday. The aerobics class is one I've been going to since June but haven't been to for a couple of months. I'm off to a step class and a swim today too.

I feel less lazy and am actually gonna clean my apartment today - something I've been putting off for a few weeks now!

So gonna take advantage of this good feeling while it lasts!!

:-)

And it's Started....

I handed in my transfer request form today. The look on my supervisor's face when I gave it to her nearly made me take it straight back out of her hands. SERIOUSLY.

This woman has bent over backwards for me since I've been here. I have to admit, if this transfer does go through, leaving her is going to pull on the heart strings.

I'm having mixed feelings about this transfer lark.

I've come to adore it here. And I LOVE being so close to the beach - sunbathing, swimming, beach BBQs....

And then I think about Tokyo. And its unbearable rush hour trains, lack of green (I can't belive I'm saying that) and the tiny boxes that they call apartments and charge an arm and a leg for.

Worst of all? HAVING NO CAR! Relying on public transport and having the right of going where I want, when I want taken away from me. On the plus side, there are so many fucking great things about Tokyo. I'd be here all day if I were to write them all down. SHOPPING, food, Ageha, classy Roppongi clubs, martinis, diversity, PIZZA EXPRESS are just to name a few things I love about Tokyo.

The car and apartment thing bothers me the most. Yet I feel I have no choice but to go. Because if I carry on trying to live life the way I have been here, I know I'm headed for a serious downfall....one from which I don't think I'd be able to recover.

It is an agonizing 4 month wait until I know whether my transfer request has been approved. I know my supervisor understands. She even wished me luck. And then with the saddest face ever (seriously, it nearly made me cry), she told me she hope that the transfer doesn't go through.

And I know she's saying that with all the love in the world.

And so the wait begins.

Wish me luck xx