Paranoia

I recently met my friend's boyfriend.

We were all out having coffee and he went to the toilet. The minute his back was turned, my friend reached for his phone and frantically started checking his messages.

WWHHHHAAAATTTT??? I was so horrified my jaw dropped. When I asked her what she was doing, she admitted she was checking his messages. I asked her if she thought he was cheating on her and she said 'No, but it doesn't hurt to check'.

I couldn't believe it. For absolutely no reason she was invading her man's privacy. I thought going through his phone was bad enough. And then she revealed to me that she checks his Facebook, his blog and his emails!! I asked her if he gave her the passwords and she said that she had spent a day figuring them all out. I was staring at her dumbfounded. I was thinking that she was an obsessive control freak. I would never have thought that she could be THAT insecure. Her man came back so I didn't have a chance to talk to her about it further.

The revelation made me really uncomfortable. It actually freaks me out a little bit to know someone who is so...what's the word? Paranoid? I swear she's bordering on stalking the poor guy. They were sitting across the table from me. Happy as anything. How appearances are deceiving! I couldn't help but look at her and think 'You manipulative cow. How can you invade his privacy on every possible level like that when he's done NOTHING to warrant it?'

Then I started thinking. If I thought my man was cheating on me, would I check his phone? She doesn't even think he's doing anything wrong. She's checking for the sake of....what? Knowing EVERYTHING he's doing?! I don't understand. I don't think I would WANT to see what's in the phone. I mean, if you find nothing, wouldn't you feel like shit for distrusting that person in the first place? And then if you do find something - what are you gonna do about it? If my man confronted me about something he'd found while going through my phone, despite what he may have found, the initial act alone would be enough for me to dump him because I would NEVER be able to trust him not to do it again. And I'm sure that he would do the same.

Everyone is entitled to a bit of personal space. For a lot of people that is their phone, email etc. Everyone should be allowed that. The thought of someone reading through all my messages and mails sends a horrible feeling of intrusion down my spine. I mean, are you really in love with someone if you're behaving like that? It's actually really scary.....can you be THAT in love that it would drive you to that? Or is that kind of behaviour triggered by mental instability or just insecurity?

It's a hard one. But I don't understand what she's doing. It's even made me nervous to leave things like my phone or even my organiser around her. Not that there's anything incriminating in them but I hate the thought that she might look for the sake of it. It's weird. Her man is such a nice guy and doesn't deserve to be treated like that.

But..BUT the best bit about all of this.....is she's dealing with another guy!!!!!!! First class hypocrisy!!!!!

And then it made sense. The reason she does what she does is because she thinks coz she's behaving badly, then there's a possibility her man might be as well. She doesn't believe that he is but she wants to check that he ISN'T.

Makes me sick.