R.I.P Michael Jackson

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1196009/Im-better-dead-Im-How-Michael-Jackson-predicted-death-months-ago.html

Read this. It is absolutely incredible.

I am so, so upset to hear about how Michael Jackson has been suffering over the last few years. I had no idea about the extent of his pain and fear and disappointing his fans until I read this article. And after reading it I am so full of sympathy and yet relieved that for Michael, his suffering has finally come to an end.

It all seems like it starting 15 years ago with the whole child molestation charges. What hurts most about this whole thing, is that they say people are innocent until proven guilty. Yet, Michael Jackson was proved innocent, and yet so many people out there labelled him a kiddie fiddler. I have never believed the allegations. Never. He might have been a lot of things but I don't believe that he would have ever gone that far. He loved children. He dedicated so much time and money and love into supporting 39 charities - giving them album profits and settlement money. A selfless act. It enrages me that there are people out there who still believe that he could do something so vulgar.

Can you imagine what that must do to your state of mind?

To read about how frail he was. How he couldn't sing, dance, talk, walk....to watch a slow deterioration of someone so loved by his fans is horrible. When I heard that he was to do 50 London dates, I was like wooooaaahhhh. Given the health problems that have been plaguing him for years, I didn't understand how he could commit to this. He would have died after 1 or 2 of them, if he made it on stage at all. Then reading about the pressure from the people around him and how they constantly reminded him of his damaged reputation and money troubles, I can't help but feel deeply, deeply sorry for him. He was scared. Scared that he wouldn't be able to do it. That people would be disappointed with him. But he couldn't sing - all his songs would have to be lip synced.

When I first read that, I was like well that would disappoint me. And then I thought people would go to see him for the show that he would put on. He's a performer, an entertainer. It wouldn't matter that he wasn't singing live. People are there to see the moonwalk. To watch him put on an incredible show. The problem is, people were expecting him to be like he was in the 80s. They seemed to have forgotten that he was 50 years old and in poor physical condition. And that just added to the already immense pressure on Michael Jackson. He knew that they were expecting that of him and I'm not surprised that he was scared he wouldn't be able to deliver. Because he wouldn't have been able to. Hurts me to read that he said he thought he'd be better off dead :-(.

People are so greedy. Even in his fragile state, he was being forced to do all these things that his health would just not allow. People were pushing drugs on him so that he could function, ignorant of the fact that they were killing him. Or they probably just didn't care.

And what an incredible gift that he left for his children. 200 unreleased songs. Wow. No financial problems for those three. Imagine being able to say that Michael Jackson is your father. Damn - now that's something special - being able to say that your father was the most famous person on the planet. WOW.

I have spent the whole day today listening to Michael Jackson's albums. I downloaded all of them and was singing along and dancing around my apartment - grinning as childhood memories came flooding back. I'd forgotten about how much I love his music - and I'm not just talking about the big hits. Songs like 'In the Closet' and 'Do You Remember the Time' also hold so many memories for me. I was reading tributes and watching the reactions of fans around the world, and that's when the tears started flowing.

Such a sad, sad story.

A great talent. A true legend who will forever be in my heart.

May you finally Rest In Peace.

xx