Crap!

One of the shittiest things is having a crush on your friend.

And it's not like they're just a friend...it's someone I'm REALLY tight with. Which means that this is never going to happen. I've joked about it with him before and knew what the response would be...which I'm not going to write because then you might work out who I'm talking about!

LOL!

But yah, it's not going to happen. Which just sucks because it's one of those things where you know it would be AWESOME if the other person would just allow it to happen! I'm not even sure what I want to happen...well, yah I do!!! But I know that my friend has boundaries and hooking up with friends crosses those boundaries. It's totally cool and I really do respect that but at the same time it is sooooo frustrating! I absolutely love the relationship we have though and I will be really gutted when he leaves Japan and I really don't want to risk damaging what he have. Although, to tell you the truth, I think the relationship is tight enough that everything would be totally fine the next day! LOL. I have to say though, I really do admire him for sticking to his guns. Very impressive. But I shan't do anything about it - I know I would make a complete arse out of myself and he will be taking the piss outta me for the rest of my life! I just had to write it down!

*sigh*

Very frustrating indeed. I'm not joking...minus a couple of qualities incuding a wondering eye and philanderous tendencies, he actually has ALL the qualities I want in a guy. And even those bad ones calm down when he is seeing someone. We are alike in so many ways and it's great when you can really TALK to someone on a level you know?

Arrrrgggggghhhhh!!!

LOL. I wonder if he's reading this...he says he doesn't read blogs but loads of people say that coz they think blogs are gay but they secretly read them anyway. I've made no secret about the fact that I think he's HOT and you know, he KNOWS all of this because we've spoken about it before. Respect to you for not crossing that boundary...but I still think it could be soooo good if you would just allow it.

Either way, I have nothing but mad love for this guy. No, no, no I'm not IN love with him - it's totally different. You know what I mean!!!!

xx