The Ex

I spent a lot of time yesterday clearing out stuff and I came across loads of photos of me on holiday with my ex.

Just to make it clear, when I say my ex, I'm talking about the guy that broke my heart. Before I was calling him my ex-ex but I realised that what was going on recently with someone else wasn't a relationship so it doesn't count. That was just....nothing.

So yah, the ex is the guy that took me 7 months to get over. Anyway, when I was looking at those pictures, I was smiling. Because despite the way that things ended up, we were really good friends and had so much fun together. I'm not angry anymore - it doesn't mean that I would ever give him another chance - it just means that I'm over it. He's not the only guy that I've had a messy ending with, but he's the only one that I look back on without cringing or wondering what the hell I was thinking and that kind of stuff. He's the only guy that I never got sick of - that I still was excited about seeing even after spending every single day together. And weirdest of all - he's the only guy that even after splitting up, I never got rid of anything that reminded me of him. Au contraire - I actually kept everything, even though at the time it was incredibly painful. With everyone else, I get rid of the photos and anything else that they may have given me coz I cringe when I think of them.

Funny how I feel the best about the guy that hurt me the most! That makes absolutely no sense! But I guess when you let your guard down and let someone actually get to know you, you have an amazing time. And you know what they say - it's better to have love and lost, then to never have loved at all! So true. Those are fabulous memories that I have.

And I have a confession to make! I actually saw him a few weeks back. I was a bit nervous but then I saw he was as well - you have to remember that I havent seen him for the best part of a year. The most remarkable thing about it was that I had no romantic feelings towards him whatsoever! Seriously! But it felt amazing - it was like catching up with a really old friend. Everything was ridiculously comfortable and I realised how much I miss being around him just because we get on so, so well and he's absolutely hilarious. The whole thing was left very casually - I'll see ya when I see ya kinda thing. He moves around a lot for work so it's rare for him to be in the same spot for a long time. But that all suits me fine. I was just so relieved to feel good - to not feel anger or hate or anything. To be over what happened. I was just so happy to see him because I'd forgotten all the good things and now that I've been reminded of them, I look back with better memories!

That's just reminded me that I haven't given my quote of the day for a couple of days!!! I'm gonna go find one now.

xx